


It's Always Been You

by CharlieLeau



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Day 3: I'm Hers And She's Mine, Endgame Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen - Freeform, Jonerys, Jonerys Week, Jonerys Week 2019, Past Jon Snow/Ygritte, Present Daenerys Targaryen / Daario Naharis, The Stark sisters are barely there, at least not physical cheating, but there's no cheating, yeah I'm still pissed at them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 04:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19369882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieLeau/pseuds/CharlieLeau
Summary: When Daenerys’ boyfriend proposes to her, she says “yes”. They've been together for years and they love each other. There's no reason to say "no". But as she prepares for her big day, she reconnects with people she hasn’t talked to since her family moved across the sea to Essos seventeen years ago. She reconnects with Jon Snow, the boy she was in love with when she was six.And everything changes.





	It's Always Been You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> This is my first time writing for Jonerys. I hope I did them justice. Also I made moodboards for this story but posting one of them here proved to be impossible so I'll probably post the main one on my Tumblr if you're interested in checking it out.
> 
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my native language so there are probably some mistakes left... My apologies!
> 
> Happy reading!

Dany fell in love with Jon when she was six.

He was seven, barely taller than her. He was missing two of his front teeth. He had dark grey eyes and his curly black hair was prettier than hers.

He saved her from the monkey bars.

And she fell in love with him forever.

xxx

Every summer, Dany’s family would travel to their secondary residence in the North. The manor was located near Winterfell, the biggest city of the region.

Unlike her brother Viserys, Dany loved the North.

It was everything the South and King’s Landing weren’t. The air up there was purer, the sky bluer. It was colder too, but Dany didn’t mind that. The North was true, wild and beautiful, with fields of blue roses stretching as far as her eyes could see.

She would spend her time roaming the green prairies, picking up flowers for her mother or bathing in the large lakes, under the careful watch of her brother Rhaegar, who’d fill the air with his music.

Yes, Dany really loved the North, for when she was there she was free and she too could be wild and real.

xxx

Dany was half-way through the monkey bars when she remembered she was afraid of heights. She looked around, but found her brother gone. There was no one to help her. She was scared, she couldn’t let go.

She wanted to start crying, but knew she couldn’t as well. Viserys would tell their father if she did and he’d get mad.

_Targaryens do not weep._

Dany thought she’d be stuck on the monkey bars forever.

Until Jon came in.

At first, he asked her why she was taking so long on the monkey bars. When she told him about her fear, he told her to wait. He came back a minute later with his cousin, Robb, and together, they helped her down the monkey bars.

She was shaking from head to toe.

But she was safe, thanks to them.

Robb was bigger than both she and Jon. His hair was red, his eyes a striking blue color. He was cute, but he wasn’t Jon. After they helped her from the monkey bars, he picked a blue rose from a bush and put it in her hair just to make her smile.

The flower’s color was vibrant, its smell sweet.

Jon and Robb became the companions of her summers after that.

xxx

Summers in the North were even better after Dany had children her age to spend her days with.

She still did everything she did before, and then some more.

Robb and Jon were great.

Robb was bold and brash, always laughing. Jon was more discreet, and guarded. He didn’t smile nearly as often as his cousin did, but when he did, it made the day much brighter.

She liked him the best.

xxx

From the moment they met, Dany, Robb and Jon became inseparable.

They spent their days together. Robb and Jon introduced Dany to all their friends and the rest of their family.

There was little Arya, who was a cute baby with chubby cheeks when Dany first met her. As the years passed, she started following them around on her short legs, her happy laugh echoing in the wind.

There was also Sansa. She was a little younger than Dany, but she didn’t like playing outside so they didn’t spend much time together. She had the brightest, reddest hair Dany had ever seen. She was really pretty.

Whenever Jon and Robb brought Dany home, Ned Stark would smile. He always said the same thing.

“Add a place setting, Cat. Robb and Jon brought Dany home.”

xxx

Dany was ten years old when her brother Rhaegar died. He was twenty-five.

His screams as he argued with their parents were forever embedded in her mind. The final slam of their front door behind him too.

Rhaegar was Dany’s favorite person in the entire world. Rhaegar was kind and soft. He sang her songs before bed and had this special way of twirling her hair. He called her _“little sister”_ in the softest way possible, like she was the most precious thing in the universe.

And perhaps to him she’d been.

He’d gotten out in spite of the storm and never come back.

Dany’s parents sold their houses afterwards. Both their houses. The one in the North and the one in the South.

Dany was ten years old when her brother Rhaegar died.

She was ten years old when she was told there would be no more summers in Winterfell.

She was ten years old when her heart broke.

xxx

They moved to Essos.

Dany’s father was the CEO of a big company. Viserys was the heir to everything, but she still had a role to play. The role of the dutiful daughter.

The sweet, innocent and proper daughter who wore plain dresses and braided her hair tightly.

She hated it.

She hated the dinners. The balls. The formality of her life.

But it was the only one she had, and she had to make the most of it.

 _If I look back, I’m lost_ , she always told herself.

So, Dany built a new life for herself in Meeren. She made new friends, found a sister in Missandei, a girl from her new school.

Dany learned to be Daenerys, the perfect daughter. Her easy summers in the North were replaced with luxurious vacations in Volantis or Bravos.

Yes, Dany grew up, but she never quite forgot the scent of blue roses or the bright red color of the monkey bars.

xxx

Daenerys heard of Daario Naharis long before she first saw him. She heard of his family. His father’s company was one of the biggest in the world.

Daario came to her university during her senior year.

They had a few classes together. When she first saw him, Daenerys couldn’t help but blush. The pictures she’d seen in the media hadn’t done him any justice.

He was simply handsome.

His hair was perfect, his eyes dreamy. His voice sounded like a caress, as did his gaze. He even smelt good! His manners were impeccable.

And Daenerys wasn’t the only girl who noticed.                               

But for some reasons, it was her, Daario asked to be his partner for a project. And she accepted without hesitating.

xxx

Daario first kissed her when they graduated. One minute he was congratulating her and the other, she was pressed flush against him, his tongue dancing with hers.

He took her out on a date that very night, in a fancy restaurant by the sea. They ate their desert, ice-creams, as they took a walk on the beach. Daario told Daenerys’ that her hair looked almost silver under the light of the moon.

“You’re a vision,” he whispered before kissing her again.

He brought her back to his home and they had sex for the first time.

She had sex for the time.

It felt good, but it didn’t exactly live up to the hype her friends Missandei and Talisa had created. The way they talked about it, Daenerys had imagined she’d feel like she could touch the stars.

She didn’t.

She didn’t touch the stars, but she saw them. And it was good enough for her.

She didn’t dream of blue roses that night. Instead, the sound of the waves washing off the shore filled her ears and lulled her to sleep.

xxx

The next morning, they talked about their future together, tangled in his bed.

Daario would start working for his father. Daenerys would become a teacher, like she’d always wanted. She’d also help her mother with her charity work.

They settled in Meeren.

She remained at her parents’ house, he remained at his, but they spent most of their free time together.

Daario was fun and easy-going. Smooth and charming.

He made her feel good and she did the same for him.

For a while, she forgot all about blue roses and their sweet scent.

xxx

Daario asked her to marry him in another fancy restaurant while they were vacationing in Qarth. He’d hired a violin player and made sure white roses had been used to decorate the restaurant. There were flowers everywhere and their strong scent made Daenerys’ head spin.

Daario hid the ring in the flute of champagne she ordered to go with her desert. After four years of dating, he knew her well enough to accurately predict her orders.

She gasped at the sight of the ring. It was the biggest diamond she’d ever seen.

Daario knelt down before her and asked her to be his wife.

A million thoughts swirled around her mind as she stared down at him. She was young. She was only twenty-six. Wasn’t it a little early? Perhaps not. They’d recently moved in together. Getting engaged seemed like the next natural step. Besides, she loved him and he loved her too. And her parents would approve of their union.

Was there a reason to say “no”?

There wasn’t.

She said yes.

He put the big diamond on her finger. It was surprisingly heavy and perhaps a bit too shiny for her taste. But she forgot everything about it when he pulled her in for a hug. He held her in his warm embrace for a long time, and peppered her hair with soft kisses.

xxx

A few weeks after Daenerys’ engagement, she and Missandei travelled to Volantis, to visit their best friend from college, Talisa Maegyr. She was finally back from a two-year internship in a Westerosi hospital. She’d brought back her boyfriend with her, her mysterious boyfriend she wanted her friends to meet.

Daenerys couldn’t believe her eyes when Talisa came to pick them up at the airport. The man standing next to her, holding her hands…

She recognized him instantly.

He was tall, with curly red hair and a square jaw covered with a light stubble. His eyes were a striking blue color and held a hint of mischief.

Robb Stark.

He seemed to recognize her instantly too.

“If this isn’t Tiny Dany…” he whispered in awe.

Daenerys’ eyes widened. She hadn’t heard that nickname in years. It used to annoy her as a child, but now, it filled her heart with warmth and affection.

There was no doubting it now. It _was_ Robb Stark.

Daenerys felt like she was in a dream. Robb pulled her in for a tight hug that lifted her off her feet. His familiar warmth and his woodsy scent reminded her of the summers she used to spend in the North.

Memories flooded her mind. She saw the fields of blue roses behind her eyes, heard the rivers’ song in her ears again. The red painting of monkey bars burned her eyes.

“Robb Stark,” she whispered, pulling back.

He grinned at her and she saw the child he used to be. “In the flesh!”

“Do you guys know each other?” Talisa asked looking at them in confusion.

Robb and Daenerys exchanged a knowing smile. They had a lot of explaining to do.

xxx

As it turned out, Robb Stark had refused to start working for his father immediately upon graduating. He’d wanted to see the world, experience different things, before settling down. His roaming had led him to King’s Landing, where Talisa had been doing her internship.

A stupid bet and a broken hand had brought them together.

Now, a year after that fateful night, they were taking their relationship to the next level. They were meeting friends and families.

And in Daenerys’ case, they were reuniting with old friends.

xxx

Later that night, Daenerys found Robb outside the restaurant they were having dinner at. He’d gotten out some time ago to answer a call from his parents.

He smiled at her from where he was nonchalantly leaning against the wall.

“Wait until I tell Jon about you… he’ll never believe me.”

Dark gray eyes danced in her mind. She smiled.

“Tell me about it… I still can’t believe you’re real.”

“I know. Talisa told me about her friends Daenerys and Missy, but I never thought in a million years her Daenerys would be _our_ Dany.”

Daenerys’ smile widened. Something unfurled inside her. Something soft and warm. No one had called her Dany in years. Not since Rhaegar’s death.

“It’s good to see you again, Robb.”

He bowed his head in agreement.

“Come here, now,” he told her, motioning for her to come closer. “It’s selfie time!”

She shot him a puzzled look.

“I told you, Jon will never believe me without proof.”

Daenerys snorted at that, but she let him put an arm around her shoulder and take his picture.

“How’s Jon?”

The name burned her lips.

“He is… okay. He—he just got out of a long relationship, so…” His eyes fell on her hand. “Wow, apparently _you_ are in for the long haul, uh?”

Her cheeks heated. “It would seem so.”

“Congratulations!”

Just then his phone chimed in his hand.

“What is it?” Daenerys asked when she saw him smile.

He shrugged. “Jon says hello.”

They went back inside the restaurant after that.

Talisa and Missandei shot them quizzical looks. Daenerys ignored them.

 _Jon says hello_.

That night blue and red melted together in her dreams for the first time in years.

xxx

The question came out of nowhere.

“Are you going to quit your job?”

Daenerys, who had been writing down some ideas for the wedding abruptly stopped writing. It was so abrupt she actually broke her lead pencil. The little dark lead rolled down the table and disappeared under the couch.

She looked up and met Daario’s eyes. He held up her gaze.

“Quit my job?” She repeated, her ears buzzing.

“Yeah, after the wedding.”

She frowned in confusion. “I don’t want to quit my job.”

She really didn’t. She loved working at her school, among the children. Teaching them, helping them, gave her life a purpose, gave her a reason to get up in the morning.

“Of course, I understand. But after we are wed, you might not have the time to work anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

He sighed and when he spoke again, he was using the same tone she sometimes used when she was talking to little children.

“Well, I’m going to keep taking up more responsibilities at my father’s company. I’m going to need your help, you know, the same way my father needs my mother. Or the same way your father needs your mother. And when you think about it, neither of them work. It takes them too much time to do… whatever it is they do.”

He punctuated his sentence with a little charming smile that usually had butterflies dancing in her stomach.

“Of course, you don’t have to make a decision right now. You still have time to think about it.”

He got up and went to get himself a water bottle. It wasn’t until Daenerys picked up her pen again that she realized her hands were shaking.

xxx

“Did you have a job before you married father?”

Rhaella Targaryen looked up from her the bridal magazine she’d been reading. She carefully folded it in her lap, taking her time to answer the question.

“Yes, I was a secretary at my father’s lawyer office.”

“And why did you quit?”

“I fell pregnant with your brother shortly after our wedding. I decided to stop working to take care of him.” She paused. “Why are you asking, my darling?”

Daenerys shrugged. “I was just wondering.”

“Is Daario asking you to quit your job?”

She shook her head. “No, not at all.”

“Because you know you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I know.”

But just as she said the words, her confidence faltered.

xxx

Later that day, Daenerys found herself sitting on a bench, in a playground near the apartment she now shared with Daario. She watched as children happily played on the swings and chased each other around the trees.

She longed for her childhood as she watched them. She had been carefree once.

But no more.

Her eyes fell on the monkey bars and the children hanging on them.

Daenerys was reminded of a different time, a different place, a different set of monkey bars. Different children too.

A small smile stretched her lips.

The wind caressed her cheek. She closed her eyes, throwing her head back a little. The sound of children giggling mixed with the chirping of the birds.

She was at peace.

xxx

“Talisa, I’m not sure…”

_“Oh come on, Dany, please!”_

Talisa had picked up on using her childhood nickname from the moment Robb first used it in front of her during their time in Volantis. Daenerys didn’t know how she felt about it yet.

“I don’t feel comfortable with this.”

_“Oh don’t give me that, you know them!”_

Talisa had been invited to spend a week in Winterfell with the Starks. The thought of spending an entire week with her boyfriend’s family scared her to death, hence why she was currently trying to convince Daenerys to join her.

“Not anymore,” Daenerys corrected.

Just as she said the words, she remembered Catelyn Stark’s warm smile and Ned Stark’s kind eyes.

 _“Pretty please!”_ Talisa pleaded with her. _“Robb specifically asked for you.”_

Daenerys’ heart skipped a beat. “He did?”

 _“Yeah, he did.”_ A pause. _“Come on, Dany, a sweet Essosi girl like me, the wolves of Winterfell will eat me alive.”_

Daenerys snorted. Talisa could hold her own and they both knew it. In fact, Daenerys might have to go to protect the Starks from the Volantene tornado.

_“Come on, Dany. You’re on your winter break, your parents are gone to celebrate their anniversary, and Daario is going on a business trip... nothing’s holding you back.”_

She sighed. Hesitated.

_“You know you want to.”_

That was the worst part, how much she wanted to go. And oddly enough, it was also the one thing holding her back. How much she wanted to go.

She closed her eyes for a second, her head at war with her heart.

_“Daenerys?”_

She had been silent too long and Talisa was back to Daenerys.

Daenerys vs Dany.

She looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

And she made her choice.

xxx

Robb came to get them at the airport. He kissed Talisa on the lips, engulfed Daenerys in a hug so tight he, once again, lifted her off the ground.

His little sister Arya was with him.

She had been very young when Daenerys had last seen her. She remembered a little girl with wild brown hair, a little girl loud and adventurous, who’d chase after Robb and Jon until she was out of breath. Wherever they went, she wanted to go too.

Obviously, that hadn’t changed much.

“You probably don’t remember me,” Daenerys started, “I’m...”

“Oh, I know exactly who you are, Daenerys Targaryen,” the younger girl interrupted her.

Daenerys was a little surprised by her abruptness, when she only saw kindness in her dark gray eyes, she relaxed.

“Come on now, everyone’s excited to see you both!” She quickly added, already walking away.

Daenerys glanced at Robb. He simply shrugged.

And so they went.

xxx

Dinner was a simple, yet joyous affair.

The Starks were all there, except for the one Daenerys longed to see the most.

Robb, the oldest, sat next to Talisa. His laughter was the loudest, his smile infectious.

Next to him was his sister Sansa. She was closer in age to Daenerys than Arya, but they barely knew each other. She was tall and beautiful, the spitting image of her mother.

Catelyn Stark was as Daenerys remembered. Her smile held the same warmth as before. She made her feel welcome, like she had just sat at their table the previous day and not seventeen years ago.

Her husband, Ned, sat in front of her. He was a quiet, reassuring, presence at the head of the table and Daenerys couldn’t help but compare him to her own father, who always managed to put himself at the center of attention.

Arya was next to him. The small young woman looked a lot like him, with her dark hair and dark grey eyes.

Then came Brandon and Rickon, the youngest. Bran had been a toddler for Daenerys’ last summer in the North and Rickon a promise in his mother’s womb. He had grown into a gangly teenager, who wore thick square glasses. Young Rickon, much like his oldest brother, was loud and happy.

Daenerys smiled as she watched the happy family and wondered if her own family had ever been that happy.

 _Not since Rhaegar’s death_ , a voice whispered in her head.

The thought made her feel sad and lonely.

Until Robb decided to tell the story of that one time she fell in the pond near the playground where they met.

“You pushed me!” She accused him.

“I did not!” He shot back.

They’d had this argument at least a hundred times. And as they started having it once again, she only felt happiness.

xxx

The sun was barely rising when Daenerys woke up.

She tried to go back to sleep, but it was pointless.

 _Stupid time zones_ , she thought as she climbed out of bed.

She didn’t expect anyone to be up yet, but was pleasantly surprised when she heard some noises coming from the kitchen. Perhaps Ned Stark was an early riser after all.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him.

His back was to her but she knew it was him.

She’d recognize those dark curls anywhere.

Jon Snow.

For the longest time, she stood frozen, unable to form a coherent thought, let alone voice it.

She didn’t know what to say, what to do.

What could she possibly say or do after seventeen years?

 _Jon says hello_.

Robb’s voice in her head was so loud, he might have been yelling. She swallowed the lump of emotions that had formed in her throat.

“Hello, Jon.”

She startled him.

He slammed whatever he was holding in his hands on the kitchen counter. He turned around, one hand on his chest.

“Good God woman, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

Daenerys didn’t reply.

She was at a loss for words again.

She searched his features, eagerly looking for the boy she used to know and love. He’d lost all of his softness, yet, he still managed to be the prettiest man she’d ever seen.

His pouting mouth had probably earned him the favors of many women. Dark stubble covered his cheeks now, and there was a small scar marring his face around his eye.

In the end, she found her Jon in his dark gray eyes. They were the same as ever.

Dark. Endless. Tempting.

“I didn’t think anyone would be up at this ungodly hour,” he added, the words slurred because of his thick accent.

Daenerys blinked and managed to get her mouth to work again.

“Blame the time zones.”

She hated how her voice wavered.

 _Get a grip, Targaryen_.

“Yeah, I hate those. Just got home from a business trip in the Reach,” he said. “I’m beat,” he added, rubbing his face emphatically.

Daenerys frowned.

“But it’s the same time zone.”

“Doesn’t feel like it when your flight leaves at three in the morning…”

“What was the rush?”

He chuckled. “Do you really need to ask?”

Her heart was pounding in her chest as they looked at each other, the silence heavy between them.

“Coffee?” He offered, pointing at the mug on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, sure, thanks.”

She let out a small relieved breath and came to sit down in front of him. She watched as he rummaged through the kitchen. He looked at ease and moved with a confidence she didn’t remember him having when they were young. He was always more withdrawn as a child.

“You’re staring,” he pointed out, sliding a steaming mug of coffee in her direction.

Her cheeks heated a little. “I haven’t seen you in seventeen years, staring is a requirement.”

Again that soft chuckle. “I guess that makes sense.” He took a sip of his coffee. She did too and burned the tip of her tongue. She didn’t mind it.

“Permission to stare back?”

It was her turn to chuckle. “Yeah, that’s not gonna be awkward at all. Two people staring and saying nothing.”

“Hey, you started it!”

“Alright, I’m ending it now!” She said, closing her eyes.

He laughed then, a good, honest, laugh, and she laughed with him, opening her eyes again. Any remaining tension and awkwardness melted like snow under the sun.

“It’s good to see you again, Dany,” he said after he’d calmed down a little.

“It’s good to see you too.”

xxx

That night, the winter weather was calm enough for Dany, Talisa, Robb and Jon to gather around a big fire in the garden. They were soon joined by Arya and her boyfriend Gendry, a solid young man with kind eyes.

“I feel like I’m six again,” Daenerys said as she took a sip of her hot chocolate.

She’d originally been sitting between Jon and Arya, but Jon’s big white husky had decided to settle between them, his soft head resting in his master’s lap. Not that Daenerys minded. He was radiating heat, leaving her warm and comfortable.

“Who wants to start telling ghost stories?” Arya asked, a teasing light in her eyes.

Daenerys made a face. Robb and Jon exchanged a knowing smile.

“The last time we told Dany a ghost story—”

“Before you finish that sentence, Robb Stark, remember that I, too, know stories about you,” Daenerys interrupted him.

Jon huffed back a laugh.

“The same applies to you, Jon Snow.”

He raised up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say anything!”

“Missy and I tried to make her watch a horror movie once,” Talisa cut in. “Worst idea ever.”

“Hey, zombies are really scary!” Daenerys protested.

Everyone laughed at her comment and Daenerys not so gracefully accepted to be the object of their teasing. She hid herself in her mug and glanced at their little group.

Arya’s head rested on Gendry’s shoulder. His eyes were lost in the flames.

Jon was busy scratching his dog’s head, a soft smile stretching his lips. It was his first real smile since she’d seen him that morning. They’d laughed together, but he had yet to smile. His smiles had always been rare oddities, even when they were young.

He looked younger when he smiled, Daenerys realized, prettier too.

_He needs to smile more._

Robb and Talisa were glued together, with her sitting in his lap and his arms tightly wrapped around her. Daenerys watched as Robb whispered something in her ear, something that made her smile. She turned her head toward him and he nuzzled her cheek tenderly.

Envy tied her stomach into knots.

She and Daario weren’t affectionate like that. They evolved in circles that frowned upon public displays of affection. And they just weren’t that kind of couple.

But as Daenerys watched Talisa, she couldn’t remember a time where her friend had looked so relaxed and at peace.

“Hey Dany!” Jon conspiratorially whispered next to her.

She turned to look at him and he made a come hither gesture at her. She leaned over his dog.

“I’m scared of zombies too,” he admitted in her ear, his warm breath ghosting over her skin.

His confession made her laugh and she forgot about everything else but the moment she was living.

xxx

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Daenerys said when she walked inside the kitchen to find Jon already there, sipping a cup of coffee.

He wore a suit with no tie. The first buttons of his shirt were open, exposing the hollow of his throat.

“You really are an early bird.”

She shook her head. “My brain still thinks I’m in Essos. Where are you at?”

“I got news of a house that’s going to be put on the market very soon. I’m going to visit it this morning, see if it’s worth anything.”

The Starks worked in construction. They built houses and also renovated old ones. From what Daenerys understood, Ned Stark was the big boss and Robb his heir. Jon worked in the family business, as well as Sansa who’d recently graduated with a degree in architecture and interior design.

Jon scratched the back of his head and set his cup of coffee on the kitchen counter before him. “Actually, it’s a good thing that you’re up.”

She tilted her head in confusion. “Why?”

“The house, it’s, um… it’s your former house.”

Daenerys blinked. “Really?”       

“Yeah, really, you could come with me if you wanted …” his voice trailed down.

Daenerys stood in the threshold, completely frozen.

Her mind took her back to times long gone. She saw their home in the North, a beautiful manor made of gray stones, its solid dark red door. She saw the gardens, filled with rose bushes and trees. She saw the swing Rhaegar had hung for her on the biggest oak and the treehouse they’d built on its branches.

She let out a shaky breath.

“Do I have time for coffee before we go?”

xxx

Much like her former house, the Starks’ residence was located a little outside of Winterfell, the biggest city in the North. Sansa and Arya actually shared an apartment in the city while Jon, Brandon and Rickon still lived at home with their parents.

“Wouldn’t it be more convenient for you to live in the city?” She asked Jon after a moment of silence. “Especially, if you work there.”

She could easily understand why Ned and Catelyn Stark would want to live in a more remote location when they started their family, but Jon was young and childless. The city held more appeal for him.

Jon made a face at her comment.

“What?”

“I used to live in the city,” he eventually told her. “I only recently moved back home.”

“Why?”

He gave her a look. “You stare, you ask questions… you’re very curious, Dany Targaryen.”

Daenerys’ cheeks heated.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

He chuckled and something stirred inside of her. She was getting used to hearing that low half-mocking, half-amused sound.

“I moved back home after I broke up with my girlfriend.”

Daenerys’ mouth opened in an “o”.

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “I’m fine.”

“What happened?”

He shrugged, his eyes lost on the road before him. “We just didn’t want the same things out of life.”

Daenerys nodded, but didn’t say anything. She looked through the window and her hungry eyes devoured the beauty of the North’s country.  

xxx

Daenerys’ house had changed a lot over the years.

Or maybe it hadn’t, and she just wasn’t used to seeing it covered in snow.

The owners weren’t there, but their real estate agent was. He was friend with Jon and showed them around the house. Jon and Robb had rarely, if ever, came to her house when they were young. Her father would have been driven mad by three little children screaming and running around.

It was a first for him and she could tell he was trying to picture her as a child in every room they walked in.

It felt like a first for Daenerys too, like she was rediscovering the house entirely.

And, as they walked from one room to the other, Daenerys understood why she’d always loved that house better than the far more luxurious one they had in King’s Landing.

It had a homey quality to it that the beautiful house in the South had always lacked. It was warm, welcoming, and comfortable. It was the kind of house one raised a family in. It wasn’t meant for show, wasn’t meant to impress people.

It was a home, simple as that.

xxx

Daenerys’ swing and treehouse were long gone. Still, she told Jon everything about them.

“I’d spend hours playing in that treehouse. My brother Rhaegar built this opening roof, it was amazing.”

“I seem to remember you were afraid of heights,” Jon teased her.

She smiled at the reminder of the day they met.

“I wasn’t scared in the treehouse,” she simply told him, touching a hand to the bark of the tree and the “ _D_ ” her brother had carved for her.

It was _her_ tree.

“What did you play at?” Jon asked. “No, wait, let me guess. You were a princess, in a castle…”

“Excuse-me sir, I was a _queen_.”

“Right, a queen,” he corrected.

“And I had dragons to protect my kingdom from evil monsters.”

Jon offered her one of his rare smiles. “Of course, you did.”

They both leaned against the trunk of the tree. The world around them was sleeping, covered by a thick blanket of cold white snow. Everything was silent, peaceful.

“Are you going to buy the house?”

“It has a lot of potential.” A pause. “Do you want us to buy it?”

Daenerys stared at the shape of the house. Once upon a time, she had been so happy within its walls.

“I don’t trust anyone else to take good care of it,” was all she said.

They were silent again, until the low growl of her stomach echoed against the trees. Jon snorted. Daenerys flushed.

“Come on, let’s get you some breakfast. I know just the place.”

He took her hand and she let him.

They walked out of the past, only to fall right back into it.

xxx

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it still exists!” Daenerys smiled as she exited Jon’s car.

“It” being _Hot Pie’s bakery_ , a place where they’d spend way too much money and time when they were children.

“Of course, it still exists, it’s the best bakery in the North.” Jon almost sounded offended. “Old Ben’s son is handling things now, but the old man is never too far away. Wait until he sees you…”

Jon pushed the door open and Daenerys’ nose was filled with the most divine smell. Hot bread, fruit and sugar.

Heaven on earth.

An old man with a big white beard and a round belly moved around the counter.

“Pinch me!” He roared. “That’s something I thought I’d never see again. Jon Snow and little Daenerys Targaryen.”

The pair exchanged a look. Daenerys felt like she was six again.

“These two hellions and Robb Stark filled my shop with laughter once upon a time,” he said to everyone in the bakery. “It’s good to see you again, Dany girl. What brings you back here?”

“A coincidence,” she mysteriously replied.

“There’s no such thing as a coincidence,” he said, shaking his head.

“She’s friend with Robb’s girlfriend. They’re here for a visit.”

“Well, tell your cousin to come with his lady love. I’d like to meet her.”

“Will do.”

“I guess it’ll be the usual for you, Jon. And I suppose Dany wants a blue rose muffin?”

Daenerys’ mouth watered and she nodded eagerly. Old Ben laughed.

“I bet they don’t make these in Essos,” he teased as he prepared their order. “It’s on the house, and as for you,” he smiled at Daenerys, “don’t wait years to visit again.”

xxx

“Since apparently, we’re taking a trip down memory lane today, how about we go to the playground?”

They’d just walked out of the bakery, with warm coffees and warm muffins in hands.

“So long as you don’t try to climb on the monkey bars…”

She gave him a look. Not only was Jon more confident, he was also more teasing. Perhaps the two were connected.

“Hey! Don’t act like you’re not happy I climbed on the monkey bars that day,” she threatened him, her index finger digging in his chest.

He grabbed it and squeezed it tight. He smiled at her.

“You know I am.”

This time it felt like it was her heart he’d squeezed.

“We’ll go if you can find the way,” he told her.

Daenerys smiled, surprised by the challenge, but happily so. “I could find it even if I was blind.”

“Lead the way then,” he said, stepping aside.

xxx

The playground was exactly as Daenerys remembered.

It was filled with children laughing and playing. Except, they were playing in the snow and building snowmen.

The rose bushes were still there, albeit not blooming. The trees were larger than before, their leaves gone, their branches heavy with snow.

“Hm… this is perfect,” Daenerys sighed, after taking a bite from her rose muffin.

The sweet taste of roses exploded in her mouth and for a second, she forgot about everything. She forgot about the cold and the snow. She was back in the past, under the warm sun of a Northern summer. She heard birds chirping, felt the wind in her hair.

Jon’s low chuckle brought her back. She arched an eyebrow at him.

“I’d forgotten how much you like that girly stuff.” At her offended look, he quickly added. “You always had the most extravagant tastes!”

“That’s not true!”

“It is! You were a real princess—” she gave him a look—“sorry, _queen_. I remember that one time you made us go all the way across town because you wanted your special ice-cream with the vanilla whipped cream on top!”

“Who eats ice-cream without whipped cream?”

“Us commoners do,” Jon teased.

Daenerys crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not talking to you anymore,” she said petulantly.

“Oh come on,” he bumped her shoulder with his. “You were our very own Southern princess.”

A thin smile stretched her lips. “If I remember that day correctly, I won the final race to the ice-cream parlor.”

“Yeah, Robb’s ego still hasn’t recovered from the blow.”

Her smile widened. “Maybe I was a little princess-y,” she admitted.

“And we loved you for it.”

They finished eating in comfortable silence. It was the kind of silence only old friends could bear, the silence of companions, of people content with just being together.

xxx

They took a walk around the playground as they ate. They stopped in front of the monkey bars. The red color had only faded a bit.

“So, this is where it all started,” Daenerys said playfully.

Jon barely nodded at her comment. It was something that happened during moments of silence. He retreated deep into his thoughts, deep into himself, and just brooded. He was already doing it as a child, but Daenerys found it more unsettling now that he was an adult.

It had started snowing again and little snowflakes had gathered on his black raven hair. She reached out on an impulse and smoothed his curls. That earned her his attention.

“What is it?” She asked softly.

He shrugged. “I was just thinking about what Old Ben said earlier.” She remained silent, gave him time to finish. “Don’t wait another seventeen years for another visit.”

She was surprised by the sudden seriousness of his tone. She shifted under the weight of his gaze.

“I haven’t left yet,” she reminded him. “Maybe I’ll stay here forever,” she quickly added, as she tried to lighten up the atmosphere.

She was only kidding, but she couldn’t ignore the jump her heart made in her chest when she said the words.

Jon looked down at her left hand, at the diamond hidden by the leather of her glove.

“Or maybe not,” she said, rubbing her hands together.

“You haven’t talked about him, you know.”

Daenerys swallowed. The sudden tension between them was almost suffocating. “Really?”

“Yeah. Not a word since you arrived.”

She faced away from him, away from his prying gray eyes, and grabbed one of the red bars in front of her.

“Do you know why I loved coming here when I was child?”

“I’m guessing it wasn’t because of Robb’s good looks and my tendency to brood.”

She shook her head, her eyes lost in the distance. “It felt like another life,” she explained. “And I was a different version of myself when I was here. Lighter, happier, more carefree.” She closed her eyes for a second and she saw herself as a child, roaming free in a field of flowers.

“Robb and Talisa meeting and dating have made two separate worlds of mine collide. I guess I’m just trying to keep them apart a little while longer.”

“Why would you do that?”

She shrugged, a lump forming in her throat. She had no explanation to give him. “Daario is great,” she said eventually. “He’s the right guy for me.”

Jon nodded, his shoulders falling a little. “But is it the right life?”

She froze at his words. “What kind of question is that?”

“Just a question.”

“Well, of course it’s the right life,” she told him. “It’s _my_ life.”

But even as she said the words, the taste of roses turned from sweet to bitter in her mouth.

xxx

There was a game that night. Daenerys and Talisa went out with Jon and Robb to watch it in their favorite bar.

They ate greasy cheeseburgers and salted fries, drank beer after beer. Daenerys had never had a night out quite like this one and she was trying to enjoy every second of it.

Jon was sitting next to her. She was acutely aware of every move he made. The space was limited in their booth. His arm kept brushing against hers. The weirdness of their conversation on the playground was still lingering between them, but oddly enough, it only made Daenerys want to be closer to him.

She did not like it when things weren’t alright between them.

And he didn’t either, apparently.

“So, how’s the Northern ale treating you?” He asked her.

“It’s no Dornish wine, but it’ll do,” she replied, hiding her smile in her glass.

Jon shook his head. “Such a princess,” he teased her.

xxx

It was a beautiful night. The night sky was free of clouds. The moon was full and the stars shone like diamonds on the dark blue vault.

It was a beautiful cold night.

The cruel bite of winter attacked them the moment they set foot outside the bar. Daenerys shivered, her teeth chattering as they walked down the street to where their car was parked.

“This girl isn’t so used to the cold,” she told them as they hurried as best as they could on the slippery pavement.

“You and me both,” Talisa agreed.

Her cheeks were red from the cold and she was shivering as well.

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Jon, who had the audacity to walk around with his coat open, said.

Daenerys just glared at him. He huffed back a laugh and pulled her closer to him. He smelled of smoke and alcohol, but his body literally radiated heat.

“How can you be so hot?”

“We’ve got good genes in the family,” Robb answered for Jon, winking at her. She just rolled her eyes at him.

Daenerys wrapped an arm around Jon’s back until her sides pressed against his. He didn’t seem to mind and wrapped his own arm around her shoulders. He soon started rubbing a hand up and down her arm as they walked.

She twisted her head to look at him. She was struck by how beautiful he looked in the silver light of the moon, stars of happiness shining in his gray orbs.

“What is it?”

She hesitated. Her tongue felt like it was made of lead. Unable to speak, she squeezed his side instead.

He stopped walking, making her halt as well. They stood on the pavement, violet eyes and gray eyes asking questions and searching for answers at the same time. Robb and Talisa were lost in front of them.

“Dany…” Jon started, his hand trailing down her arm to take hers.

A shiver ran down her spine, but it wasn’t because of the cold this time.

“Oh shit!” Robb said.

Daenerys and Jon both looked up at the same time.

The girl was beautiful. Her skin was porcelain white, her hair “kissed by fire” as they said in the North.

Jon abruptly dropped her hand. “Ygritte,” he breathed out.

“Jon,” the girl said, “Robb, fancy seeing you here.”

Jon and Daenerys walked up to join Robb and Talisa. He suddenly seemed intent on putting as much space between them as possible.

“Yeah, we just watched a game,” Robb told her, waving a hand in direction of the bar.

The girl smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, which were attached to Jon’s. “I hope Winterfell won!”

“They sure did!”

Seconds passed in complete silence. Daenerys watched as Robb struggled to find something to say. The girl didn’t say anything, she just kept staring at Jon, who stared back at her, his face pale, his expression blank.

“Hm… this is my girlfriend, Talisa, and her friend Da—Daenerys,” Robb corrected himself at the last minute. “This is Ygritte, an old friend from school.”

Daenerys was pretty sure the redhead wasn’t just an old friend. Still, she was right there with Talisa and also offered her a polite “nice to meet you”. The girl’s eyes went from Jon to Daenerys, slowly.

“So, you’re the infamous Dany Targaryen? I almost thought you were made up.” She shook her head. For a second, she looked disgusted. Then, resignation took over. Her shoulders fell in defeat.

“Ygritte—” Jon started.

“Don’t bother,” she interrupted him. “I guess I’ll see you around guys.”

She moved past them and left hurriedly. The four of them stood in stunned silence.

Somehow, the night had lost its beauty. The moon had disappeared behind clouds. The stars were almost invisible.

And Daenerys couldn’t feel the cold anymore.

xxx

Daenerys barely slept that night. Her dreams were troubled. She heard a door slam shut with resounding finality, the low growl of thunder. She saw her old house crumble and the ruins turn to dust in the wind.

She woke up more tired than when she went to bed, her hair damp with sweat.

She got out of bed, padded to the kitchen.

It was empty.

Daenerys made her way to the living-room and sat down on one of the comfortable window seats. She could feel the cold through the window, but she didn’t mind it. She leaned her forehead against the glass and watched the snow fall.

A few minutes later, she was startled when something wet brushed against her hand. She looked down and saw red eyes staring up at her.

Ghost, Jon’s albinos husky.

She scratched the dog’s head. He didn’t make any sound, but he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. She patted the window seat and he jumped, settling on her legs.

“Where’s your master?” She asked petting his head. “Still sleeping?”

The dog didn’t reply, just licked her face. She let out a giggle. She wanted a dog as a child, but her father had always refused.

“He didn’t look fine last night,” she whispered. “Tell me, do you know who that girl was? I think she was his ex. Was she? Bark once if she was!”

Ghost didn’t bark. He just nuzzled her hand. She sighed and rested her head on a pillow. She fell asleep within minutes.

xxx

Once, when they were children, Daenerys had come over to sleep at Jon and Robb’s house. It was the last night before she had to go home in King’s Landing, so she’d begged her parents until they allowed her to go.

It was also the night of the ghost story.

Daenerys had been so scared, she’d made them sleep with her in the pillow fort they’d built that afternoon. She remembered Robb collapsing after only a few minutes, exhausted by a day of playing and running around. She and Jon had spent the night talking, a small lamp between them providing much needed light when the night was darkest.

They were only ten years old, but they’d had much to say. Much to share. And when morning came, everything had been different. The world had seemed brighter. Daenerys had been hopeful and already planning their next summer together. When she left, she’d made him promise to call her and write her.

She could still see him standing in the alley as her parents’ car drove away, took her away from Winterfell, from the North.

Took her away from him.

It was the last time she saw him.

xxx

She found him in the gardens. He was sitting on a bench, in front of a huge white tree with crimson red leaves. The snow crunched under her boots as she approached him, but he didn’t seem to hear her.

“Why is there a face carved in that tree?” Daenerys asked.

“No one knows anymore,” Jon replied. “That knowledge was lost a long time ago.”

She nodded pensively. She threw a glance at him. His cheeks were red, and so was the tip of his nose.

“How long have you been sitting here?”

He shrugged. “Long enough.” A pause. “I come here when I need to think.”

“And when you need to talk to your mother.”

“Of course, you’d remember that.”

Pain laced his voice.

“I remember everything.”

And she did.

Lyanna Stark. Jon’s mother who had died after giving birth to him. His father’s identity was unknown, hence why he was a Snow.

_A bastard._

Her father’s voice echoed in her mind. He’d never approved of their friendship. Perhaps it was why she’d never been allowed to invite Robb and Jon over.

Jon sucked in a breath. She could see how hard he was clenching his jaw from where she was standing.

“Do you want me to leave you two alone?”

A minute passed in painful silence.

Finally, he let out a breath. His shoulders fell a little. He shook his head.

“We’re done talking,” he said.

She sat so that she was facing him, with one leg bend on the bench and the other hanging in the air. She put a hand on his shoulder and rubbed his arm in what she hoped was a soothing gesture. After a while, he relaxed under her touch.

“What’s troubling you, Jon Snow?”

He smiled, but it was still a little sad. Her heart clenched in her chest at the sight of it.

“Here she comes again with her questions.”

“Hey! You’ve been asking questions too.”

“Far less than you.”

“That’s correct, _but_ probing is the only way to get things out of you, while I’m an open book.”

He laughed and the grip on her heart relaxed a fraction.

“No, you’re not,” he said, finally turning his head to meet her gaze.

He reached out for her head and she stopped breathing. Slowly, he tucked a strand of her hair that had escaped from her braid back behind her ear. His hand returned to his knee. She exhaled.

“What happened last night, Jon?”

He heaved out a sigh.

“Ygritte was my girlfriend. The one I recently broke up with.”

“I figured. The whole situation reeked of bad breakup.” She paused. “But how come she knew me?”

Jon looked down. “Because I used to have the biggest crush on you and Robb was an asshole who wouldn’t shut up about it.”

Daenerys blinked. “You—what?”

“Oh come on, Dany, you must have known!”

She shook her head. “I didn’t!”

Confusion took over. The thing she remembered most vividly about their summers was her doing everything to get Jon’s attention. To get him to smile. To get him to laugh. Being an orphan, he’d always carried a sadness around him and she’d tried her best to turn that sadness to happiness.

He frowned. “You didn’t?”

“No, I really didn’t. So…” she tried to regain her focus, but it was difficult. Her heart was dancing in her chest to the beat of a new song.

_Jon had a crush on you. Jon had a crush on you. Jon had a crush on you._

“So, you had a crush on me and that bothered your girlfriend why?”

“Ygritte was our friend before she was my girlfriend.”

Daenerys snorted upon hearing that. “I see a pattern here.”

He gave her a look, his gray eyes a little darker. He was on edge.

“We’ve known her since first grade. And for years, Robb teased me about my crush on you. You know how he can be.”

She nodded. She did know.

“He also loves telling a good story, so… Ygritte knew a lot about you, before we even became a thing.”

“That must have been awkward,” she realized.

“Robb stopped bringing you up after we started dating. But it was already too late. I told you we broke up because we didn’t the same things out of life, and that’s true. I wanted to settle down, you know, buy a house like Uncle Ned did, get married, maybe have a couple kids.”

“You wanted to build a home.”

He nodded. “Ygritte didn’t want to settle down. She wanted to go on as we had. She wanted to be free. That’s why we broke up.”

“But..?”

Jon’s eyes closed. “Ygritte used to say I was a mystery, a puzzle. At first, it was a joke between us, but it became a problem. I had a hard time opening up to her, talking to her.”

“Maybe she didn’t probe hard enough.”

That made Jon smile, his first real, honest smile. Young Dany high-fived adult Daenerys.

“The thing is, it was really difficult for me to talk to her sometimes, because she…” he hesitated.

“She didn’t get you?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, a surprised look on his face. “Exactly. Anyway,” he shook his head, his dark curls falling in front of his eyes, “I think because of what Robb said, she saw you as competition, which is ridiculous when you think about it. You weren’t a part of my life anymore, and it wasn’t like what I felt for you was real or anything. We were just kids.”

Daenerys felt like she’d been slapped and dozed with cold water simultaneously. Her heart stopped dancing in her chest. Cracks appeared on the surface.

_It wasn’t like what I felt for you was real or anything. We were just kids._

She pulled away immediately and placed her hand on her knee.

“Dany?”

“You know, I have feelings, Jon, feelings you can hurt,” she said coldly.

He frowned. “I’m not talking about our friendship. I know that was real. I mean, look at us. It’s been seventeen years and we’re talking like not a day has passed. But my crush was just a crush. It wasn’t real love. I was a kid, I didn’t know what love was.”

More cracks appeared.

_It wasn’t real love._

Tears welled up in her eyes but she held them back.

 _Targaryens do not weep_.

It was her father’s voice in her head again. For the first time in her life, she didn’t resent it. She welcomed it, let it give her strength.

“You’re right,” she said, smiling through her pain. “We were just kids.”

In her mind, a blue rose withered.

_It wasn’t real._

xxx

“Knock, knock, can we come in?”

Robb and Talisa popped their heads through the door. Daenerys, who was lying on her side, nodded quietly. The bed dipped when they both sat on either side of her. Talisa delicately brushed her hair out of her face. Robb put a hand on her knee.

“What’s with the sad face?” He asked.

“It’s stupid…” she hated the way her voice quavered.

“I love stupid,” Robb said.

Daenerys sighed. “Your cousin is an idiot.”

“And the sky is blue, what else is new?”

“Robb, please.”

Talisa was at her back, but Dany had no problem picturing the look on her face.

Robb cleared his throat. “So, what did my idiot cousin do?”

“It’s so stupid!”

“If it matters this much to me, it can’t be,” Talisa said, just as she started running a hand through her hair in a soothing gesture.

“Come on, talk to us!”

Robb squeezed her knee in encouragement. Daenerys swallowed heavily. The moment she opened her mouth, words flowed out. She told them the conversation she’d had with Jon under the white tree.

_It wasn’t real._

A long moment of silence followed her confession. Talisa even stopped running her hand through her hair. Daenerys instantly missed the contact.

Finally, Robb said. “Babe, I know this is the moment where you usually come in with some really good advice for your girlfriend, but do you mind if I take over this one?”

“Not at all,” Talisa replied, surprise coloring her voice.

Robb’s eyes found Daenerys’. Kindness was shining in his clear blue orbs.

“Ah, Tiny Dany… from the moment I met you, you’ve only ever had eyes for Jon, which, by the way, really hurt my ego.”

“It seems to have recovered from the blow just fine,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, it did,” he winked at Talisa. “I know you liked Jon, Dany, everyone did, except, of course, _Jon_.” He shook his head in hopelessness, an amused smile stretching his lips.

Daenerys huffed back a laugh.

“And he liked you too, so much, it was embarrassing really. No one should like a girl this much.”

“Hey!” Talisa reached over Daenerys and gently punched Robb in the shoulder.

“You know Jon, he’s not the most expressive guy out there, but the mention of your name was enough for him to light up like a Christmas tree. He really, really liked you. And it was real.”

“He said it wasn’t, that we were just kids.”

“He wrote you a letter when we were children. He added a note to that letter, a “will you be my girlfriend? Yes or no” kind of note. He never sent it, because that day we learned your house had been sold and that you wouldn’t be coming back.” Robb paused for a second. Daenerys’ mouth felt dry, her head was pounding.

“But up until this day, he still carries that note around in his wallet.”

Daenerys raised herself up on her elbow, her heart in her throat.

“What?”

“My cousin is an idiot, there’s no denying that. And he also doesn’t know the first thing about himself, which is that he’s loved you forever. The _real_ kind of love.”

Daenerys brought her knees to her chest. Her head was spinning with what she’d just heard.

“Now, I’m no expert at that love thing—though I’m learning more about it every day with you,” he added for Talisa, the look in his eyes softening as he met her gaze, “but you’re engaged, Dany, to a guy I assume you have deep feelings for.”

Daenerys nodded.

“Jon had a real hard time forgetting you. And now that I’ve seen him with you again, I wonder if he ever did.” He sighed, his shoulders falling a little. “It’s not your fault your feelings faded with time and his didn’t, it’s just the way it is. But, please, let him be in denial. Don’t force him to confront his feelings, to admit they’re real, that they’ve always been real. You would only end up hurting him.”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” she whispered, the corner of her eyes burning with the tears she’d been holding back for hours now.

“Then let this matter go. He didn’t mean to hurt you earlier. If I were to take a guess, I’d say he was merely trying to protect himself.”

Daenerys opened her mouth, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Jon’s head popped in.

“It’s movie time,” he said cheerfully. Then, he took them in, all three of them on the bed, and frowned. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” Robb said, getting up. “What are we watching again?” He put his hands on Jon’s shoulders and dragged him away. The door closed behind them.

The silence between Talisa and Daenerys after they left was deafening. Daenerys could feel her friend’s eyes on her, their weight heavy and uncomfortable.

“What are you thinking?” She eventually asked, knowing full well she wasn’t going to like the answer.

“I’m thinking you shouldn’t ask yourself whether the love Jon had for you was real or not.”

“What should I ask myself then?”

“Why it matters so much to you.” A breathe. “Unless you already know.”

Daenerys let out a long sigh. She was right. She hated Talisa’s answer.

“We should probably go,” she pointed at the door. “They’re waiting for us.”

xxx

After her brother’s death, Daenerys’ parents had sold their houses, everything they owned in Westeros and moved all the way across the sea to Essos.

Staying in King’s Landing, where Rhaegar’s memory waited for them at every corner, would have been too painful. Daenerys had never liked her life there anyway.

For her, King’s Landing had been her private school and a dozen other private lessons she hadn’t been interested in the slightest, but was forced to take anyway, because it was what “young lady of her station did”.

She’d spent her time looking forward to the holidays, the only time of the year she was allowed to be a child. She could get dirty, swim in lakes, run in the country, scream and shout and listen to the echo of the mountains reply to her.

She’d found peace and happiness in fields of blue roses.

Her life in Essos had been pretty much like her life in King’s Landing, but instead of rejecting it, she’d embraced it. Her brother’s death, so young, had hung over her like a warning and a threat. Rhaegar had never gotten to live, so she would.

And in the end, she’d found peace and happiness again, in the very things she’d once resented.

xxx

She was back where her spiral had started.

She was sitting on a bench, in front of a huge tree with crimson leaves and a face carved on its trunk.

“Why am I feeling like this?” She asked, to no one in particular.

There was no reply. The face kept staring at her. It seemed to be mocking her and she glared at it.

“I wish you could help me with all this, Rhae,” she touched the necklace she wore for him, a simple silver chair with a guitar pendant.

He’d loved music. He’d filled their house with his songs and his guitar. He’d turned it into a home with his melodies.

“Actually, I just wish you were here. I miss you.”

She heard a bark coming from behind her. She turned around and saw Ghost and Jon walk in her direction.

“Watcha’ doing Targaryen?” He asked.

“Trying that talking to the dead thing,” she carefully wiped at the corner of her eyes. “It seems to work well enough for you.”

“And how is it working for you?” He asked, sliding next to her.

“Jury’s still out on that one.”

Jon nodded. “You know, for someone who is supposed to be an “open book”,” he imitated the quotation marks with his fingers, “you don’t talk much about yourself.”

“Is this your way of probing? Because if it is, let me tell you, you still have a lot to learn from an actual expert.”

Jon laughed at that. “And is this you deflecting? Because if it is, let me tell you, you still have a lot to learn from an actual expert.”

It was her turn to laugh and for a second, the weight she had been carrying on her shoulders since their last conversation lifted.

His hands covered hers where they were folded in her lap. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.”

She hesitated a second before resting her head on his shoulder. They were silent for a while, content in just being.

Until Daenerys started debating with herself.

“I want to tell you something,” she said, shifting her position so that she could look him in the eyes.

“What is it?” He was taken aback by her sudden seriousness, she could see it in his eyes.

She swallowed heavily. “I had a crush on you too when we were kids.”

He blinked. “Why tell me now?”

She shrugged. “You told me about yours.”

He looked away from her and let go of her hands. He was obviously struggling with the information and she almost regretted telling him the truth.

Almost.

“Why didn’t you come back sooner?” He asked, and there was no missing the hurt in his voice. “You said you were happy here once, but you’ve been gone seventeen years. Seventeen!”

She shrugged. “I just found happiness elsewhere.”

The moment the words passed her lips, she realized her mistake.

Jon stiffened next to her, the same way she had the previous day when he told her about his feelings. And just like she had, he hid his pain behind a smile.

“Well, I’m happy for you then.”

xxx

The day before their last day, Daenerys and Talisa went shopping with the Stark girls.

It was exactly what Daenerys needed. New clothes, new shoes, and more particularly, a day spent far away from the Stark men.

She found herself really liking Sansa Stark. They had never really bonded as children, but, as it turned out, they had the same tastes. More often than not, they found themselves reaching for the same clothes during their fittings. Arya rolled her eyes at them more than once.

After their shopping, they settled in a teahouse for a cup of coffee and some pastries. Daenerys ordered a slice of blue rose cake, but the sweet sugary treat tasted like ash in her mouth and Talisa ended up finishing it.

The conversation between them was joyous and animated. It made Daenerys forget about everything, including the ash in her mouth. Arya was abrupt, but fun, and Sansa, much like Daenerys herself, wasn’t as precious as she looked.

Daenerys would be leaving the North knowing she’d made new friends and the thought made her happy.

xxx

Daenerys was finishing to pack her things when Talisa found her.

“Hey!” She greeted her friend with a big smile. “I’m almost done packing. I’m this close to regretting buying that last jacket yesterday. This close.” She showed her with her fingers, pointing at her full suitcase with her other hand.

Talisa chuckled and sat on the bed.

“That jacket was made for you. You can’t regret it!”

“And that’s why we’re friends, you tell it like it is. Unfortunately for my wallet.”

They both laughed. Daenerys finished folding a blouse.

“So, what’s up?” She asked, noticing the worried creases on her friend’s forehead.

Talisa shrugged. She looked so defeated, with her shoulders down, it tugged at Daenerys’ heart. She came to sit next to her and grabbed her hand.

“Talk to me,” she prompted.

“I’m not exactly eager to go home,” was all she said.

“Because of Robb. I know the long distance thing can be difficult, but you guys are solid…”

“It’s not Robb,” Talisa interrupted her. “It’s my family. I didn’t want to talk about it when you and Missy came to Volantis, but they’re not really supportive of our relationship. They’re not supportive of anything, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean they indulged me and my “fantasy” of becoming a doctor for a while. But they expected me to come home and get married and just… forget about it all. They didn’t expect me to come home with a Westerosi boyfriend and with the project of actually putting my degree to use.” She shook her head. “I mean, you know how it is with them? Our parents are so similar they could be related.”

_Are you going to quit your job?_

Daenerys shifted uncomfortably. “What are you going to do?” She asked. It was safer to refocus the conversation on Talisa.

“Robb’s thinking about moving back here and he’s asked me to move in with him.”

Daenerys’ eyes widened. “Really? This is amazing! I’m so happy for you guys!” Her smile faltered a little. “I’ll miss you like crazy, but you’ve got to do what makes you happy. And I know Robb does, so...”

Talisa gave her a look.

“That innuendo wasn’t intentional.”

They both laughed.

“He does, he makes me happy. Just like being a doctor makes me happy. I just wish my family understood this…”

“When they see how happy you are, they will.”

“Do you really believe that?”

Daenerys hesitated. “We’ve got to.” She squeezed her hand. “I’m really happy for you.”

Talisa smiled. She looked down at their joined hands. “I really love him, you know?”

“I know,” Daenerys said.

They shared a knowing look, Talisa’s brown eyes were twinkling with stars.

“I’ll let you finish packing,” she said, getting up.

She walked to the door, opened it. Then, she stopped, turned to look at Daenerys and said.

“You know, that thing you said about doing what makes you happy? It applies to you as well.”

xxx

Daenerys found Jon in his bedroom after dinner. He was sitting on his bed, while Ghost was sprawled on the rug at his feet.

“Hey, do you have a minute?” She asked.

He tilted his head. “What are you holding behind your back?”

“Remember the last time we saw each other for the last time?”

“The night of the ghost stories?”

She nodded. “Well, I’ve got a lamp,” she showed him the lamp, “sweets, and, because we’re adults now, alcohol!” She showed him the pack of beer she’d bought the previous day during her shopping trip.

“Beer? You know the way to my heart.”

He put a hand on his chest and Daenerys’ own heart did a little happy dance at the sight of his soft, content smile.

“Wait a minute… does that mean we have to build a pillow fort?”

“Of course! It’s the only way for this to feel right.”

In a matter of minutes, they had rearranged pillows and blankets together. They settled in their fort, and Ghost claimed the space between them as his own. He radiated heat, which was particularly fine with Daenerys.

“Cheers,” Jon said, raising his beer.

“Wait a second!” She stopped him from drinking by grabbing his wrist. She was surprised by how soft his skin was for a second.

“There’s something I want to say first.” She cleared her throat. “I know things have been a little weird lately, but I wanted you to know I’m glad I came here and I’m glad to have you back in my life. You said it yourself, I’ve been gone for seventeen years and yet, here we are, talking like not a single day has passed. That’s how I know what we have is special and from now on, I’ll handle it with more care than I did in the past.”

Something flickered in his eyes, an emotion she didn’t recognize. Finally, he said. “I know things have been a little weird, I’ve felt it too. We’ve got old crushes and memories tainted by the rose colored glasses of the children we were to blame for that…” he exhaled, smiled at her. “But still, what we have is special and I know we’re going to be friends for a little while longer. If you don’t leave for another seventeen years, that is.”

Daenerys laughed. “No, I think I won’t wait this long for another visit.”

“I’ll drink to that!”

He clinked his beer with hers and took a sip. She didn’t.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Why does it always have to be me who comes to you? You could visit me for a change.”

Her remark seemed to startle him. He looked at a complete loss for words.

“Maybe I will,” he eventually said.

“I’ll drink to _that_.”

She brought her beer to her lips, hope blooming in her heart, like a blue rose in the middle of winter.

xxx

“Thank you again for everything, Robb!” Daenerys said, hugging him tight. “I had an excellent time!”

“Me too!” He said, rubbing her back. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?” He told her as he pulled away.

She nodded, her throat tight with emotions. Robb turned to face Talisa and Daenerys looked away, to give them some privacy. She smiled when she spotted Jon walking in their direction.

“Where did you run off to? And what are you hiding behind your back?”

He smiled in amusement. “You ask a lot of questions, Dany Targaryen.”

“So, I’ve been told.”

“I got you a little something,” he started, shifting on his feet.

“Really?”

“Yeah!” He then presented her with a blue rose. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of it.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day, about feeling different here, happier. I thought you might want to take some of that happiness with you. As a reminder.”

Daenerys was floored. She took the rose from him, her head spinning. That particular shade of blue reminded her of the sea.

“Jon, I—”

“It’s not a real one, so you can keep it forever.”

She looked down at the blue flower. For a second, she was back to another time and another place. She remembered a beautiful summer day, a playground and three young children.

Jon had given her a flower much like this one that day. Except it had been real and this one wasn’t.

She wondered if he was trying to tell her something, especially after their conversation about the “real kind of love”.

She decided that he wasn’t and accepted his present for what it was. A token of friendship.

The corner of her eyes stung. She hid her tears by hugging him. “Thank you!”

He didn’t reply, just tightened his hold on her. Daenerys closed her eyes and wished for time to stop.

It didn’t and they had to pull away when they heard a woman make some announcements about her flight.

“Well, time to go! Bye guys and thanks again, for everything. Talisa, call me when you land in Volantis.”

She started walking away.

 _Don’t look back_.

But she did.

Robb and Talisa stood together, the brunette still had some time left before her flight. Jon was next to them. The look in his dark gray eyes made her heart ache with longing.

She waved a hand at them.

Then, she turned around for good.

xxx

Coming home felt weird.

Going back to her life was difficult.

Daenerys had always been good at compartmentalizing, at keeping her two worlds separate.

Not anymore.

She went back to teaching. She reunited with Daario and her family, but something was amiss.

Her mind was filled with fields of snow, with Sansa’s bright red hair and Robb’s piercing blue eyes. She heard Arya’s teasing voice at night when she cooked dinner and Ghost’s bark when she walked around town. Her tongue remembered the taste of bitter ale and sweet blue rose muffin.

She missed Winterfell and how she felt when she was there. She missed Robb and the person she was in the North, around the Starks.

She missed Jon most of all.

She couldn’t forget the look in his eyes when they’d said their goodbyes. It was haunting her in her dreams, just like the memory of monkey bars and blue roses had for years.

xxx

“Daenerys!!” Missandei squealed when she entered their favorite coffee-shop. Her obvious happiness drew a smile on Daenerys’ lips.

She quickly made her way to their usual table. Missandei jumped on her feet and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I’ve missed you so much!”

Daenerys chuckled. “I’ve only been gone for a week,” she told her, hugging her back just as tightly.

“Felt like ten!”

They pulled apart and sat down.

“I got you your usual,” Missandei said, pushing a mug of tea in her direction.

“You’re a blessing!” She took a sip of her tea. The steaming liquid burnt the tip of her tongue and her throat, but that was how she liked her hot beverages. Scalding.

“Now, tell me everything! Talisa called me last night, she told me she’s moving in with Robb in Westeros. I can’t believe she’s going to leave us for good!”

“She’s already been gone for two years,” Daenerys pointed out.

“Yes, but we always knew she’d come back, eventually. She might have moved here instead of Volantis. Now, she’s going to be on the other side of the world...” her voice trailed down.

Missandei was born on the island of Naath and was adopted by a Meerenese family after her parents died when she was little. She’d been living across the street when Daenerys’ family moved to Essos.

They’d met Talisa much later, during their freshman year of college. Still, she was an integral part of their trio. Two years without her had been hard enough, now a lifetime… the thought made Daenerys’ heart clench painfully in her chest.

“So, tell me about the North!” Missandei prompted. “I want to know everything about Robb and his family!”

“They’re great,” Daenerys said. “They really are.”

And as she started talking, dark gray eyes danced in the back of her mind.

xxx

“Daario, have you seen my…” Daenerys stopped in her tracks. Daario was standing in their bedroom, holding her phone.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“You got a text while you were in the shower…” his voice faltered as he stared down at the screen.

“Oh!” Dany shrugged. “I’ll check it out later. Now, have you seen my hairbrush?”

He didn’t reply. He was still staring at her phone.

“Daario?”

“Who’s Jon Snow?”

Daenerys felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over her.

“A friend I recently got back in touch with when I went to Winterfell with Talisa,” she eventually replied, clutching her towel tighter.

“A male friend.”

“Yes… is that a problem?”

“No, of course not! I’m just surprised you didn’t tell me about him, is all.”

“There’s not much to say, really,” she whispered, shifting uncomfortably. “He’s just a childhood friend. You know my family used to have a house in the North. We spent a few summers together.”

“These summers must have been really fun for you to be so eager to catch up after such a long time.”

Daenerys let out an offended huff. “Now, you’re just being rude.”

“Yeah, that must be it. I’m the rude one.” He shook his head and threw her phone on the bed. “I’ll be downstairs, hurry up or we’re going to be late.”

xxx

Her parents threw them the most lavish engagement party ever in their luxurious villa.

The media would talk about it for weeks. They’d already been talking about it for weeks. Sadly for Daenerys, she didn’t know half the guests. Most of them were business partners of her father, or influent family friends she wasn’t particularly close to. The rest of them were Daario’s relations.

Daenerys tried to have a nice time, but as she stood near the palm trees, she found herself longing for the old white trees of the North, with their solid branches and crimson leaves.

She shook her head at her foolish dream and tried to focus and what Viserys’ wife was telling her.

Yet, as she sipped her drink, she only tasted snow in her mouth.

xxx

She sat alone by the pool. No one was looking at her, so she took her shoes off and dived her feet in the water.

She decided to open Jon’s text.

It was a picture of Ghost, sleeping. His big white head rested on a chest she assumed belonged to Jon. She recognized the window seat. They were in the living-room of the Starks’ house.

Longing tugged at her heart.

 _Wish I were here_ , she started typing. She thought better of it and took a picture of the sunset instead.

 _My view tonight_ , she typed.

His reply was immediate.

_Wish I were here._

The corner of her eyes stung. “Wine,” she uttered, getting on her feet. “I need more wine!”

xxx

Daenerys’ father wasn’t a man easily pleased.

But after his toast, he pulled her in and whispered words she’d always wanted to hear.

“You couldn’t have chosen a better partner to share your life. I’m proud of you.”

She only wished he’d be proud of her accomplishments and not the man she was going to marry.

And as they pulled away, she wondered if her brother Rhaegar would be proud of her as well.

Somehow, she doubted it.

xxx

“So, remind me how did you two meet exactly?” Some partner of Daario Daenerys couldn’t remember the name of asked.

“We met in college,” she graciously replied.

Daario tightened his grip on her waist ever so slightly. “I transferred from Yunkai College to Meeren in senior year. We shared a couple classes, and when I needed a partner for a literature project, Daenerys was there, waiting for me. The perfect partner.”

His choice of words made her tilt her head.

_“You couldn’t have chosen a better partner…”_

She sipped at her drink again. This time, she only tasted ash.

xxx

Daenerys dropped her bag on the floor when she made it home and threw the keys on the coffee table carelessly. Behind her, the door shut close. She sighed and leaned against it.

It had been one of these days at work.

The kind of day that made her want to take the longest and hottest bath, drink a lot of wine and eat her weight in chocolate cake. The kind of day that made her want to curl up in bed in the arms of her boyfriend now fiancé and forget about the world.

But Daario wasn’t there. He’d called to tell her he’d be working late.

It was the fifth time since she came back from the North.

She’d only been back three weeks.

She decided to get started on the wine and opened a bottle. She poured herself a generous glass, which she downed in one-go. She was pouring herself another generous glass when her phone rang.

“This is Daenerys Targaryen!”

_“Dany? It’s Jon!”_

She choked on her wine. They’d kept in touch, exchanging a few texts here and there, but they’d yet to call each other. For some reasons, it felt a little weird to hear his voice on the phone.

_“Are you alright?”_

She coughed, once, twice. “Yeah, fine, sorry! I was drinking!” She winced. “How are you?”

_“Good! I’m calling to tell you we’ve got the house!”_

She frowned. “The house?”

_“Yes, your former house. We just sealed the deal with the owners.”_

“Really? Wow, that’s—” Daenerys found that she didn’t know what to say.

_“Are you alright?”_

“Yeah, sure! I’m really happy, the house couldn’t be in better hands.”

_“Come on, Dany, I know something’s wrong. Did you not want us to buy it?”_

“Yes, of course, I just…” her voice trailed down. She sighed, eyeing the bottle of wine on her kitchen counter longingly. “I’m sorry, Jon, I just had one of these days, you know?”

She was exhausted, all she wanted was to crawl into bed and forget she’d ever lived that day. Talking about her old house only added to the emotional charge she was carrying.

_“Oh!”_

He sounded a little disappointed. She was about to bid him goodbye and hang up on him when he said.

_“Do you want to talk about it?”_

Taken aback, she struggled to find an appropriate answer. “I don’t—I mean—it’s not…” She closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “I don’t want to bother you.”

 _“Allow me to bother you with the content of my day first then.”_ He cleared his throat. _“So, I sealed the deal on your house, I took Ghost out for a walk. He made a new friend at the playground,_ our _playground I mean, proving once again that it really is a great place to meet new awesome people, or in this case dogs—”_ she laughed at that _—“I helped Rickon with his homework and it reminded me of how much I hate chemistry and then I visited a couple houses with Robb and Talisa.”_

In her mind, she imagined he was sitting on his bed, his curly hair wet from the shower, his dark gray eyes filled with humor. She could picture him so perfectly, her heart clenched in her chest.

_“Now, feel free to bother me with the content of your day.”_

Daenerys let herself fall on her couch, her bottle of wine forgotten. “One of my students told me he was being mistreated at home today,” she admitted. He sucked in a breath at her words. “I called social services but…” she sighed in defeat. “It takes some time before they can do anything, so I had to send him back to that house and it makes me sick to my stomach.”

She pinched her nose as she tried to contain her disgust and frustration.

“I wanted to do more for him. I wish I could have brought him home with me, or at least somewhere he can feel safe and protected.”

_“You already have, Dany.”_

“I sent him back home, Jon!”

_“I know! But what I meant is that you’ve created a space at school where he felt safe enough to tell you about what was going on at home. How many victims of abuse speak up? Not that much, especially not children. But this kid did, because he trusts you to take care of him and protect him. Because you’ve made him feel safe and comfortable enough around you.”_

Tears welled up in her eyes.

_“Calling social services was the right thing to do. Now, it’s up to them, and you’ve done everything you could.”_

“Thanks,” she said, a small smile stretching her lips. “I did not see things that way.”

_“That’s why I’m here, to offer you some perspective.”_

There was a moment of silence and Daenerys focused on the sound of his breathing. If she closed her mind, she could pretend they were back in their pillow fort.

 _“You know, this is actually my favorite thing about you_ ,” he eventually said. _“How much you care.”_

She thought of her old house. He’d just bought it and now, he and his family were going to restore it to its former glory. Make it into a home for another family.

She was smart enough to know it was a little because of her. Him calling to tell her the news was proof enough.

Warmth pooled in her belly at the thought. She glanced at the ring on her finger and guilt washed over her.

“That’s one thing we have in common,” she replied, looking away from the diamond.

xxx

Daenerys tried on six wedding gowns, each one more gorgeous than the one she’d just taken off, but none felt right on her. She didn’t connect with any of them, there was always something that just didn’t fit.

“I think we should try another approach,” the seamstress said, sensing frustration rising in the room. “Wait here, I’ve got an idea.”

She nodded and turned to Missandei and Talisa, who’d come in the midst of her moving out of Essos for good. It was a couple weeks after the engagement party, and they’d started the fittings while waiting for Daenerys’ mother and sister-in-law.

“You look beautiful, girl!”

Daenerys put up a good face. She didn’t feel particularly beautiful in that moment. She was just annoyed, mostly at herself for being so difficult.

“Thanks, Talisa.” She let out a soft sigh.

“What is it?” Missandei asked. She was the most perceptive of them, being a therapist and all.

“Nothing,” Daenerys shrugged. “I just… I’m not in the mood, I guess.”

Her friends exchanged surprised looks. They’d asked her about the engagement party – they’d both been unable to attend – but nothing had come out of her mouth, except a few platitudes that had sounded flat even to her own ears.

“How can you not be in the mood?”

Daenerys stared at Talisa, at a complete loss for words.

Apparently, being completely speechless seemed to be her new normal.

She had a lot of feelings, but she just didn’t know how to put them into words. The only thing she knew for certain was that she’d come back from Winterfell a couple months ago and she was still trying to get used to the rhythm of her life again. Adding wedding preparations to an already unstable situation made her feel overwhelmed and took the pleasure out of everything.

Even trying on wedding dresses.

“Daenerys?” Missandei asked, her concern written all over her face.

She was saved from answering by the seamstress coming back. “So, this is a vintage dress. It’s different from everything else you’ve tried on, I’m aware, but I’m sure this cut will do wonders to you.”

The moment Daenerys put on the dress, she knew it was the right one.

The seamstress was right, it was different. But it was perfect.

The top of the dress was a satin bustier with a sweetheart necklace and spaghetti shoulder straps. The lace up back was stunning and made the dress absolutely unique. The tulle skirt reached a little below her knee and made Daenerys feel like a ballerina.

The moment she saw herself in the dress, she imagined her hair up in some sort of deconstructed updo, a crown of blue roses on top of her head. She pictured a white winter wedding, with silver decorations and a groom with dark gray eyes…

“Daenerys, are you alright?”

She hadn’t realized she had started crying until Missandei handed her a tissue.

“Yes, sorry… it’s just—” words got stuck in her throat—“I really love this dress,” she told the seamstress.

“It’s exquisite!” Talisa agreed.

“Yeah, the details on the back are perfect,” Missandei concluded.

The seamstress smiled proudly.

“Daenerys Targaryen, what are you wearing?”

They all turned around and saw that Rhaella and Valeriane Targaryen had arrived.

“A wedding dress, mother,” she replied.

“This isn’t an appropriate wedding dress! You can’t show your ankles at your wedding.” She shook her head. “Thank the gods, we’re here to save the day!” She turned to the seamstress. “Find us something else. I was thinking of a satin dress, with sleeves perhaps, and a boat neck…”

They walked away. Talisa mimed shooting herself in the head.

Daenerys turned back and went to take off the dress.

It was perfect, but it wasn’t meant for her. It was meant for another girl, one who might have married a dark haired, gray-eyed groom once upon a time.

xxx

On Sundays, Daenerys and Daario traditionally met her parents and brother for brunch. Then, if there was a horse race, they went to the hippodrome. There, they met with most of Aerys, Viserys and Daario’s business associates. Usually, the men had drinks and placed some bets. The women had drinks as well, but preferred chatting to betting and getting invested in the races in any way.

It was all very conventional and very boring, but it was the best way to stay connected and in Daarios’ business, connections were everything. Still, he resented the uptightness of it as much as Daenerys did and they’d come up with a signal she could use if she got close to throwing her tea in someone’s face. Daario would usually swoop in and they’d find a reason to leave early.

When they arrived at the hippodrome that day, they headed straight for the bar.

“So, we’ll take two glasses of red wine, from the Dayne’s estate,” Daario said, ordering their usual.

“Hm, actually, I’ll have a beer, if there’s any to be had.”

Daario shot her a surprised look.

“Of course, Miss Targaryen,” the waiter replied. “Is there any specific brand that you would like to drink?”

“Do you have any _Night’s Watch_?”

He smiled. “You know your Northern ale.”

He turned around and went to get their drinks. Daario was still looking at her, his expression unreadable.

“So, you drink beer now?”

Somehow, his words sounded like an accusation.

“Occasionally, yes. Why? Am I not allowed to?”

The waiter came back with their order.

“Of course, you’re allowed to,” Daario hurriedly grabbed his glass of wine and went to join the rest of the men without adding another word.

Daenerys took her beer and found her mother and the other women. They were all laughing at something Rhaella was telling them.

“What’s so funny?” She asked, taking a seat.

“Your mother was just telling us you tried on a short dress!” One of them said.

“A short dress for a wedding! What a funny idea!”

Daenerys sighed and took a sip of her beer.

“What are you drinking?” Her mother asked.

“A beer.”

“Another funny idea,” one of the women commented.

“Don’t mind it, Rhaella. It’s just the wedding fever getting to her head.”

That was when Daenerys decided she’d had enough.

“As a matter of fact you’re right. The fever has gotten to my head, so I’m going to go home, lie down and drink my beer in peace.”

xxx

She had just reached the parking lot when Daario caught up with her.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving!” She said without turning back.

He grabbed her arm, forcing her to come to a halt and look at him.

“What’s going on?” He asked, more calmly.

“I’m not in the mood to be laughed at today.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Apparently, everything I do is funny. From my choices in drinks to my choices in dresses! I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want.”

“And what you want is drink beer?”

She gave him a look. “What if it is?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive manner. “It’s just beer.”

Daario pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a heavy sigh of frustration. “Honestly, I couldn’t care less about the beer. What I care about though, are the changes in you since you’ve come back from Winterfell, of which drinking beer is the latest.”

“ _Changes_? I haven’t changed!”

“Yes, you have! You’ve been distant and not hyper invested in the wedding preparations! You pulled a face during our entire engagement party and now you’re storming out of events because you can’t handle some light teasing. That’s not the Daenerys I know.”

Blazing anger spread inside Daenerys. “Well, it’s not easy being invested in one’s wedding, when all your ideas are laughed at and then dismissed—not that you’d know anything about _that_ , Mr. Let-The-Women-Do-Whatever-It-Is-They-Do.”

“Hey, I have a job and responsibilities, I do not have time…”

“I have a job too!” She yelled. “A pretty important one at that. But I make time, I find the time to go to dress fittings, to visit venues, to talk music, food, decorations, when _you_ keep getting home later every night.”

“That’s not fair, you know this merger is extremely important for your father’s company, for both our companies…”

Daenerys laughed, but it was dry and lifeless. “Yeah, the great merger… tell me, did you plan for it before or after you transferred to Meeren University?”

“I do not like what you’re implying, Daenerys.”

“What? That this whole relationship is a fraud? Tell me, Daario, why did you pick me to be your partner for the project during our senior year? Did my dad tell you to do it? To court me to solidify your precious merger?”

He took a step back, a pained look in his eyes. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like that. Go home, I’ll see you later.”

With that, he turned around and walked back inside the hippodrome.

Daenerys was left alone, fuming and trembling. The corner of her eyes were burning, but she refused to let her tears fall.

_Targaryens do not weep._

She felt like a heavy ball was hanging from her ring finger. For the first time in her life, Daenerys truly felt like a prisoner.

xxx

When Daenerys was a child, her father would work a lot. He’d come home late, if he ever came home at all. His company was everything to him and his image, his reputation mattered more to him than any of the drawings Daenerys ever made him.

Daenerys watched as her mother took it all in stride, accepted everything and said nothing.

Well, most of the time.

Sometimes, when her father went too far, she’d speak up. They’d argue. The house would shake with their screams.

Every time they fought, Daenerys would seek refuge in her brother’s room. Rhaegar would make space for her on his bed, put his headphones on her ears and make her listen to music. Music could fix everything, or so he said.

They never spoke about what was going on, they just listened to their music in complete silence.

And after his death, her parents got rid of all of his things, including his headphones. She could never ignore another of their arguments after that.

xxx

“Daenerys, are you awake?”

She lied on their bed, curled up in a ball. Her eyes were burning with the tears she’d refused to shed.

_Targaryens do not weep._

“Daenerys?”

She sighed and took off her headphones. She turned around and met Daario’s weary gaze.

“Yes, I’m awake.”

“Can I come in?”

She shrugged, their argument had left her drained and uncaring. Still, she couldn’t sleep, not if they were at odds with each other.

“I asked you to be my partner for the project, because you were the best student in the class. That was the first reason,” Daario told her, sitting down on the bed. “The second reason was that you had the prettiest eyes I’d ever seen.”

He put a hand on her shoulder.

“Our relationship was never in any way influenced by our parents. I kissed you when we graduated because I loved you, I asked you to marry me because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I know, I’m sorry for what I said earlier…” Daenerys raised herself up on her elbow. “I miss you, Daario. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you too, not my father.”

He gave her a look.

“These days, you’ve been gone a lot and it just reminds me of my father, of how I wouldn’t see him for days when I was a child because he’d come late night after night… I don’t want to go through that again. I understand that you have work to do, but please don’t leave me behind.”

He took her hand. “I won’t, I promise.” He squeezed her fingers, kissed her forehead. “But please, do not ever doubt my love for you again,” he whispered against her hair.

“I didn’t mean to, it’s just—” she sighed, struggling to find the right words, struggling to express her feelings—“our parents have been extremely involved in the wedding, my parents especially. It feels like it’s all about them, everything we do, everything we decide is about them… I lost sight of us for a second. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll talk to them,” Daario promised, as she wrapped her arms around his waist and let him hold her.

xxx

They tried, but their parents refused to hear them. Even worse, they rallied Daario to their side.

“They’re just trying to help, Daenerys. Let them!”

And so they kept deciding everything. The venue, the guests, the decorations, the musicians… everything. Of course, Daenerys was allowed to make suggestions, but they were dismissed more often than not. In the end, it was a miracle that she managed to keep Missandei and Talisa as her bridesmaids.

At some point, Daenerys stopped caring and just went with everything.

Daario kept working late.

Daenerys stopped caring about that too and just went with everything as well.

She attended business dinners with him, went to brunch on Sundays.

She would smile and be perfectly pleasant and amicable during the entire meal. She’d participate in the conversation and dazzle everyone with her smiles.

But, with every smile, every word, every dinner, the weight of her engagement ring would grow heavier.

And every now and then, she’d look through the window and think of another time, another place, another man, a different woman, walking in the snow, a big white dog between them.

xxx

“Whatever, Valeriane,” Daenerys said, her annoyance and frustration reaching new heights. “It doesn’t matter to me, so tell my mother I don’t care and to do whatever the hell she wants!”

She hung up and slammed her phone on the coffee table in front of her. Missandei, who was watching her from behind her milkshake, her eyes as wide as saucers, jumped in surprise.

“That’s no way of talking to your sister-in-law,” she pointed out.

“It is when she’s harassing me,” Daenerys replied dryly.

She sat down and put her face between her hands. Her shoulders fell, as she allowed herself five seconds to feel sorry for herself.

“Are you alright?”

Daenerys looked up and met Missandei’s concerned eyes.

“I just want this to be over. The wedding, everything…” her voice trailed down. “I feel like a robot, I’m on auto-pilot. I don’t have control over anything.”

“Daenerys…”

“I just have to get through this and then, things will go back to normal. My family will step back, and once Daario’s merger is over, he’ll be more present and—”

“Daenerys!”

“What?”

Missandei placed her milkshake back on the table. She cleared her throat.

“Has it occurred to you that your problems aren’t because of the wedding itself, but because you and Daario don’t want the same things out of life?”

Daenerys frowned. “What are you saying? Of course, we want the same things. We want to get married, raise a family…”

Missandei pinched her lips together tightly. It was obvious there was a lot she was holding back. Daenerys waited, gave her time to share her thoughts, but she didn’t.

And perhaps, it was just as well. Whatever she had to say, Daenerys was sure she wouldn’t have liked it.

xxx

“I can’t wait until you guys arrive! At least, I’ll have an excuse to get away from my mother.”

Talisa laughed. _“Come on Dany, I’m sure it can’t be that bad.”_

Daenerys thought of the eleven missed calls she’d walked out of the shower to. “I’m afraid it is.”

 _“Want to talk about it?”_ She suddenly sounded more serious, as if she could feel, even from a distance, Daenerys’ distress.

“Not really. I just want you and Robb to get here already.”

 _And bring Jon with you_ , her heart whispered.

Her brain was smart enough not to say that part out loud.

 _“Only three more days,”_ Talisa reminded her.

_And sixteen before the wedding._

Beads of sweat formed on her neck and forehead.

_“Are you still picking us up at the airport?”_

“Yeah, with Missy and Grey. We could eat dinner at _Saffron_?”

_“No Daario?”_

“I’m going to assume he’ll be working late.”

Talisa snorted. _“Let’s hope he’ll get some time off for the wedding.”_

“And the honeymoon.” She sighed. It wasn’t a problem for Daenerys, they’d planned the wedding during her summer break. “So, tell me about your apartment. How are the renovations going?”

_“Oh Dany, I wish you were here! It’s really amazing. Sansa is working on some new designs for the kitchen, it’s so beautiful—”_

Daenerys settled more comfortably on the couch. She let Talisa’s voice take her far from Meeren, to a place where fields of snow stretched as far as the eye could see, to a place where she didn’t feel the weight of the ring on her finger anymore.

xxx

Daenerys first saw Robb’s bright red hair. Talisa was walking beside him. He’d placed an arm around her shoulders, hers was around his waist. They looked really beautiful together and Daenerys’ heart swelled with happiness.

Then, behind them…

“Missy,” Daenerys whispered, elbowing her frantically.

She chuckled. “I know!”

“You knew!?”

She just smiled in reply. Her heart now lodged in her throat, Daenerys looked back at her friends, Talisa, Robb and Jon. She waited until she couldn’t anymore and closed the distance between them.

She jumped in Jon’s arms and he caught her effortlessly. She held him tightly, closing her eyes to let the rest of her senses take over. He smelled like she remembered, of his cologne and something that was characteristically him, something soft and woodsy. He was warm and solid and so real, it brought tears to her eyes.

“Told you she’d be happier to see him.”

That was Robb.

“You did. I guess we should have stayed in Winterfell,” Talisa added, her tone teasing.

“Are you sure she’s happy to see him? It looks to me like she’s trying to choke him.”

That was Missandei and her comment made both Jon and Daenerys laugh. They pulled apart and Daenerys discreetly wiped the corner of her eyes.

“What are you doing?” She asked. “I thought you were busy, had too much work to come here…”

“I do,” he said, “I have a lot of work to do, but I couldn’t miss this opportunity to come visit…” he gave her a look and Daenerys thought back to their last evening in Winterfell. She smiled.

“I leave in four days,” he added.

Her heart clenched in her chest. “So soon?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry…”

She shook her head. “Are you kidding? I’m so glad you’re here!”

One of her arms had fallen to his waist after their hug and she used it to bring herself closer to him and give him a half-hug. He rested his head on top of hers.

“I’m glad I’m here too.”

“This is all nice and well, but what about us, Tiny Dany?” Robb said.

She smiled at his special way of saying her nickname. He was the only to call her that. To the Starks, she was “Daenerys” or “Dany”, to Jon, she was “Dany” or even better, “Dany Targaryen”.

“I’m glad you’re all here,” she corrected, earning herself one Robb’s special charming smiles.

xxx

They decided to take a walk on the promenade by the sea after dinner.

Dany was glued to Jon’s side.

“I’m not going to disappear, you know,” he said after she laced her arm with his.

“I just can’t believe you’re real,” she replied.

They’d fallen a little behind the others, who were talking loudly a few steps ahead of them.

“Well, I am.”

“We’ll have to make the most of your time here. Oh, I know! Have you ever seen a meteor shower? There are some at this time of the year. We’d have to drive in the desert, but Missy and I know a great spot. We go every year!”

Jon chuckled in amusement. “I’ve never seen one,” he admitted, “but I’d love to. Got some wishes to make.”

“Really?” She asked.

He nodded.

“Tell me more,” she probed.

She started walking backwards, so that she could look him in the eyes. He held onto her hand…

“In case you fall,” he told her, answering her unasked question.

She smiled but didn’t try to take her hand back. “So, about these wishes?” 

“I haven’t been here six hours and you’re already harassing me with your questions, Dany Targaryen.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you just told me everything. Come on, Jon,” she tugged on his hand, “you know you’re going to tell me eventually.”

“Not this time,” he said, denying her. “I really want these wishes to come true, and if I tell you about them, they won’t.”

She was surprised by the sudden seriousness she could see in his gray eyes. “They must be really important wishes.”

“They are,” he agreed.

He came to a halt, forcing her to stop. “I’ve got something for you,” he said, opening his shoulder bag. “I’m not sure it’ll be any good after the flight but…”

He handed her a brown bag. Daenerys squealed when she recognized the logo of Old Ben’s bakery. She opened it and inhaled deeply. The smell of sugar and rose hit her nose.

“You brought me a muffin?”

“Well, Old Ben insisted when he learned I was coming here. He also asked me to bring you back in my luggage, Tiny Dany,” he punctuated his statement with a playful wink.

“Keep feeding me delicious Northern desserts, and I just might,” she replied.

He smiled at that and they resumed their walk.

They were still holding hands.

xxx

When Daenerys woke up, she felt lighter than she had in months. She danced around her apartment as she got ready for her day, humming a happy song.

“Someone’s in a good mood.”

The movements of her hand combing her hair faltered.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s a beautiful day,” she pointed at the sun that was already high in the sky.

She put her comb down and started braiding her hair. She was still humming.

“I’ll probably be home late tonight,” Daario added, his eyes following the movements of her fingers. “Don’t wait for me.”

“Oh I won’t! I’ll be home late too, if I’m home at all tonight.”

Daario straightened at her words. “What do you mean if you’re home at all?”

Daenerys felt her anger rise. She finished her braiding, the regular motions calming her. When she was done, she turned to face him.

“We’re going into the desert to watch the meteor shower. We’ll come back late, so instead of driving all the way back here, I’ll probably sleep at Missy’s.”

She and her boyfriend Grey shared an apartment in the periphery of Meeren. But the thought of her spending the night there obviously didn’t sit well with Daario, who made a face.

“Well, have fun with your friends!” He said, his tone snippy.

“And have fun at work,” she shot back.

xxx

“So, we can have three people in the truck, including the driver,” Missandei said.

“I can take the other two with me in my car,” Daenerys offered.

“I’m going with Grey and Missy,” Robb immediately said. “Sorry, honey, but I don’t trust Tiny Dany’s sense of orientation.”

Daenerys rolled her eyes at him. “Your indications sucked,” she told him, remembering that day where she’d gotten lost in the woods near the Starks’ house. “Right Jon?”

He shifted on his feet uncomfortably. “Is there really no more room in your truck?” He asked Grey.

They all laughed, except for Daenerys.

“Traitor,” she said through her teeth.

Jon looped his arms around her, hugging her from behind. She was hyper-aware of his solid warmth against her back, of his strong scent in her nose and the prickly feel of his beard against her temple – she was that tiny – as he rested his head against hers.

“I’m sorry, but it’s true,” he whispered in her ear.

Goose bumps erupted on her skin at the sound of the words in his Northern accent said so intimately to her. She quickly stepped away from him.

“Keep talking and you’ll go on foot,” she threatened him.

He had the audacity to laugh. And her heart, her stupid traitorous heart, rejoiced at the sound of it.

“Such a princess,” he teased her.

“You love it,” she shot back without thinking.

Her comeback seemed to surprise him. He blinked, once, twice. Then, he smiled, the kind of smile only she could elicit from him.

“I do actually.”

It was her turn to be surprised by his shy honesty.

“Let’s just go,” she said, hiding her new flushness with her hair. “And remember, if you talk, you walk.”

xxx

As tempting as it was, she didn’t let Jon walk in the end. Even though, he talked a lot. He told her about his family, about Sansa and Arya, about her house they were renovating, about Ghost.

And while she was driving around sun-kissed Meeren, it was the snowy roads of Winterfell she pictured in her mind.

xxx

She parked her car next to Grey’s and they settled in the back of the truck to watch the sunset and eat their picnic.

“So, remind me again why we had to go into the desert to watch the sky’s very own fireworks?” Robb asked.

“What a poet,” Daenerys teased.

“Because the city’s lights will prevent you from seeing anything,” Grey explained, his arms looped around Missandei’s shoulders. He was a quiet and reserved guy, but his love for her was the only thing he couldn’t hide. They’d been dating for three years now.

“Who wants some coffee?” Talisa asked.

“Coffee?” Jon asked.

“Showers usually peak after midnight,” she explained, with the confidence of someone who’d grown up in Essos. “This is going to be a long night.”

“Let’s build a fire and tell ghost stories then,” Robb suggested, his tone teasing.

“Or tell the story of how you broke your arm trying to get Tara Lucian’s attention.”

He had the decency to look a little sheepish.

“You’re no fun, Tiny Dany.”

“Who’s Tara Lucian?” Talisa asked.

Jon and Dany exchanged a look.

“Robb’s childhood love,” she said.

“She loved cherries,” Jon continued.

“Robb tried to get her some from that tree down the road that leads to her house.”

Robb groaned and dropped his head in his hand.

“That _old_ tree,” Dany added. “A branch cracked.”

“Robb fell and broke his arm.”

“At least, I got her attention,” Robb said, his cheeks a little red. “She wrote a note on my cast,” he remembered, a fond smile stretching his lips.

Everyone laughed at that and time seemed to slow.

Daenerys glanced at their little group, at Missandei’s head resting on Grey’s shoulder, at Robb’s hand on Talisa’s thigh, at her own leg crossed with Jon’s.

It occurred to her that, no matter how long the night was, it would never be long enough.

xxx

There wasn’t enough room for the six of them to lie down in the back of Grey’s truck so Daenerys and Jon spread a blanket on the hood of her car and settled on it.

The air had cooled down significantly from the extreme heat of the day, but it wasn’t exactly cold either. The inky night sky was clear of clouds and they could see the stars, small diamonds shining in the darkness, perfectly.

“Dany?!”

“Yeah?”

“This reminds me of our pillow fort.”

She smiled, turned to her side. Her eyes roamed over the shape of him, drinking him in, knowing he’d be gone before she was ready for him to leave.

“Me too,” she admitted.

He turned to his side as well, his gray eyes meeting hers.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey,” she replied, just as softly.

“Tell me something.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, something. Anything.”

“One morning, I woke up and I couldn’t remember the sound of Rhaegar’s voice. It was like losing him all over again.”

He grabbed her ringless hand, the one that was light and free. His skin was comfortingly warm against hers.

“Sometimes, I’m afraid I’ll forget about his face, his smile. The color of his eyes, of his hair. I know when I do, he’ll be lost to me forever.”

His thumb was now rubbing circles on her hand. “Is that why you’re wearing this?”

He pointed at the chain around her neck. She nodded.

“My uncle Ned says, those we loved and lost will always find a way to come back to us. My mother comes back to us everywhere, when the winter roses blossom and color the fields of the North in blue.”

“It was her favorite flower?”

Daenerys had never thought to ask him if blue roses meant anything to him at all.

“Yeah they were…” he smiled fondly and reached for his wallet in his back pocket. Something closed around Daenerys’ throat when she saw it. For a second, she was back in the Starks’ house, with Robb talking to her.

_He still carries that note around in his wallet._

It was no note Jon handed her, but a picture. The woman was young and beautiful, with dark curly hair. Her gray eyes were sharp and so, so, familiar. She wore a crown of blue roses in her head.

“You look a lot like her,” Daenerys said in spite of the lump of emotions in her throat.

He took the picture back from her and put it in his wallet. “Your brother will come back to you, Dany. Never doubt that.”

“I’ll wish for that,” she said, deciding it was too beautiful a night to fill it only with thoughts of the dead. “What are you going to wish for?”

“For you to stop asking me questions.”

She laughed. “You wouldn’t.”

“It’s starting, guys!” Robb told them. “Stop looking at each other and focus!” He pointed at the sky.

“It would be stupid to have come all this way for nothing,” Daenerys pointed out.

Jon laughed as he turned on his back again. She did the same.

They never let go of each other’s hand.

xxx

“Daenerys, darling, are you listening to me?”

Her mother’s voice startled her from her half-dream. She shook her head and stretched her body, hoping it would bring back some life into it.

“Sorry, mother, I’m a little tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Her mother smiled a little prudishly. “It’s alright, darling, I don’t need all the details.”

She winced. “It’s not that. We went into the desert to watch a meteor shower.”

“Oh, I see. Was Daario part of this expedition?”

She shook her head. “He was working.”

Something in her tone must have let on more than she intended to, because her mother took her hand and squeezed it compassionately.

“Oh darling, his work takes a lot of his time, he’s a man and that’s what they do. It is what it is, but do not think for a second that it means he doesn’t love you.”

Daenerys felt like she’d been doused with cold water. She took her hand back.

“I don’t want to be like you, mother.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to quit my job. I don’t want to be left at home to take care of the kids, I don’t want to be kept waiting. I don’t want to be second best to my husband’s job.” She shook her head. “This life may have made you happy, though sometimes I doubt it, but I know it won’t satisfy me. It’s not what I want.”

“What are you saying? That you’re not happy with Daario? The man who is to be your husband?”

Her mother’s tone was calm, but Daenerys didn’t let it fool her. She knew what laid beneath the apparent calmness of the Targaryens.

“I’m saying I won’t be happy if my life ends up resembling yours. I’m saying I’ll be happier somewhere else.”

“You sound just like your brother.”

Daenerys froze. Her mother’s eyes were shining with tears.

“What are you talking about?”

“Rhaegar! He said those things too once and he left to chase that happiness you both speak so highly of and what did he find on his path? Only death!”

Daenerys’ head started spinning, and it wasn’t because of the lack of sleep.

“You didn’t use to be like this darling, you’ve changed. And it all started when you went back to _that_ place, with _these_ people.”

“This has nothing to do with me going back to Winterfell, mother.”

“Really? I’m your mother, Daenerys, I know you better than you know yourself. I know your heart, I know you loved Jon Snow once.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Was it? You were never interested in anyone growing up. Not until Daario.”

“Whom I agreed to marry,” she lifted her hand to show off her engagement ring.

“And yet, you’ve been acting different. And now, you say you don’t want the life you knew you’d always have. The life you agreed to live,” her mother pointed at the ring on her finger. “I know wedding preparations can be stressful, darling, but don’t throw everything away to chase a child’s dream. When it doesn’t live up to what you built up in your mind, you’ll be disappointed and regret not seizing the happiness within your reach instead.”

Once again, Daenerys found herself unable to articulate her thoughts, to put her feelings into words.

She was still the same.

She hadn’t changed.

She was who she’d always been.

Daario had changed. Daario had turned against her.

_You sound just like Rhaegar._

In her mind, she heard the sound of the door as it slammed behind him forever. It was mixed with the roar of thunder, the thunder from the storm that had caused his doom.

She looked at her mother and only saw pain and fear in her violet eyes that were so much like her own.

She realized her mother was just a mother. She didn’t want to lose her daughter, like she’d lost her son. Daenerys’ heart ached for her.

“I’m sorry, mother,” she said, kissing her hands.

Except, she didn’t know if she was apologizing for the pain she’d just caused her, or the pain she’d cause her in the future.

xxx

“I thought we might go out tonight,” Daario told her.

He was sitting on their couch in the living-room. She was in the kitchen, gathering her stuff. He’d come back from work before the sun was down the horizon, which didn’t happen often anymore.

“I have dinner at Missy’s tonight,” Daenerys reminded him, showing him the bottle of wine she was bringing.

He gave her a look. “Can’t you cancel?”

“No, I can’t. Jon’s leaving tomorrow! But,” she hesitated, “since you’re here early tonight, perhaps, you could join us?”

He snorted. “Wouldn’t want to bother you on your double, no, triple date. Why are you bringing wine by the way? I thought your Northerners drank ale.”

Daenerys closed her eyes, counted to ten. “There’s no need for you to be rude,” she said, putting her earrings, little snowflakes – a present from Robb – on.

“Oh, I’m the rude one now? That’s rich coming from you.”

She looked away from the mirror to look him in the eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Oh please, you know what you’ve done!”

Daenerys panicked. For a second, she feared her mother had told Daario about their conversation. The thought was gone as quickly as it came, it was ridiculous, but it did make her heart quicken its pace in her chest.

“Is this because I’m going out with my friends?”

“Your friends? Please. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much you’ve been talking to Jon Snow. Your damn phone is always ringing!”

Daenerys pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Of course, you noticed, I never tried to hide it from you because he’s my _friend_. My friend who happens to live in another country, so of course, my damn phone is always ringing. That’s the only way we can talk. Because that’s what friends do, you know? They talk.”

“Is he just your friend though?”

Her already racing heart completely lost it in her chest. She tried to block out memories of Jon’s gray eyes, of his smile, of the feel of his hand in hers and failed.

“Are you so bored tonight, Daario that you feel the absolute need to pick up a fight with me?”

She sounded much calmer than she felt. Her palms were sweatier than they’d ever been.

“You haven’t answered my question.”

“Yes, he is!” She exploded. “And you’d know it, had you tried to meet him. Four days he’s been here, with his cousin Robb, who, by the way, will be at our wedding, and you never once offered to go out with us. You never tried to meet them.”

“Well, I’m sorry I have a demanding job.”

“You’re here tonight, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am. I finally get a night free, a night I was looking forward to spend with my beautiful fiancée, who’s been complaining about my working too much by the way! But as it turns out, I’ll have to spend this night alone because she’d rather go out with her friends.”

Daenerys froze at his words. “Do you seriously expect me to cancel my plans just because you came home early tonight?”

“I expect you to want to spend time with me!”

“I want to spend time with you! But I’m not going to wait around for you to have a free night. I’ll make other plans and you’re more than welcome to join me, but don’t expect me to cancel them for you. Because let’s face it, it’s not like you ever cancel anything for me.”

And with that, she grabbed her bag, her bottle of wine and left her apartment. She slammed the door behind her, the weight of the ring on her finger heavier than it had ever been.

xxx

“Why are you barefoot?” Missandei asked when she opened the door to her apartment.

“Don’t ask!” She thrust the bottle of wine in her hands and walked inside.

Everyone was in the living-room. They’d already served the appetizers.

“Tiny Dany!” Robb started. “We were waiting for you to toast… are you barefoot?”

Daenerys dropped her bag in a corner. She’d been so eager to leave her apartment, Daario, their argument, she hadn’t realized she’d been missing her shoes. And she’d refused to go back to get them when she had.

“I cut my foot on the ground,” she told Missandei.

“That’s why one usually wears shoes…” the look on Daenerys’ face must have been something because she stopped herself and her brows furrowed in concern. “Follow me,” she said.

“And I’ll just—” Talisa motioned in their direction. She jumped on her feet and followed her friends.

Missandei took them to the bathroom. Daenerys cleaned her feet in the shower, then Talisa put some disinfectant on the cut and a small Band-Aid. Neither she nor Missandei said a word, giving Daenerys some time to gather her thoughts.

“We had a fight,” she eventually said.

The corner of her eyes were burning.

_Targaryens do not weep._

She thrust her face in her hands, her shoulders falling a little.

“I can’t do this anymore. I want this to stop.”

Missandei put a comforting hand on her shoulders, Talisa rubbed her knee. There was a knock on the door before either of them could say anything.

“Is everything alright?”

Grey.

Missandei and Talisa exchanged a look.

“I think we’ll be a while,” Missandei replied calmly. “Start without us if you’re hungry.”

“We’ll wait,” Grey replied.

Then, they heard footsteps down the hallway. He’d left.

“What happened?” Missandei asked.

Daenerys opened her mouth but nothing came out. For a second, she feared nothing would come at all. She hadn’t been able to form a coherent thought in weeks, hadn’t been able to put her feelings into words for longer than that.

Something was holding her back, but she didn’t know what.

“Dany?”

She thought back to Daario’s proposal, to her doubts and questions before she finally said “yes”.

She found her answer then. It was so ridiculously obvious, she almost laughed.

Some words, once spoken, could never be taken back.

She was scared of that, of the truth in her heart. She was scared of what she had to say, to do. And she was scared of making a mistake by saying something.

But, she realized, the fear of not saying anything at all surpassed the fear of saying something.

It was a dark vicious thing inside her that made her whole body shake.

She needed to let go of it.

“I don’t want this life, I don’t want to marry Daario.”

The moment the words passed her lips, a weight was lifted from her shoulders. The dam broke, and she finally told Missandei and Talisa everything.

She told them about Daario, their arguments, the big ones and the stupid little ones. She told them about her parents, how they’d taken control of everything, making her a stranger in her own life.

She told them how she hadn’t felt like herself in months, how she’d grown more and more uncomfortable with her life until she resented it entirely.

“I only feel good when I’m with you, talking to you,” she admitted. “I’m going to sound like some rebellious teenager, but my family doesn’t understand me. My parents, Daario, they have this vision of how things should be. I tried to make my vision the same but… it’s not. I don’t want this life.”

“Because you’re in love with someone else,” Talisa said softly.

Daenerys shot her a surprised look. The brunette just shrugged in reply.

“It’s like you said. We’re the only ones that understand you.”

This time, when tears welled up in her eyes, Daenerys let them fall. Her eyes fluttered close as the image of Jon’s gray eyes danced in her mind. Her heart ached at the thought of him and more tears flooded her cheeks.

“I’m a terrible person,” she whispered. “I’ve known something was wrong for months, but I said nothing and I let things go this far… and Daario, he’s been worrying and I told him he didn’t have any reason to, when he clearly did. I’ve betrayed him.”

“Unless there’s something you haven’t told us, you aren’t a terrible person,” Missandei assured her. “And even if there was something, you wouldn’t be a terrible person.”

“I’m in love with a man that isn’t my fiancé. I believe there’s a word for that.”

Missandei looked at her long and hard. Then she sighed heavily. “Can I talk to you, not as your friend, but as a therapist for a second?”

Daenerys nodded, accepting the tissue Talisa was offering her as she did.

“Cheating, physically or emotionally, says as much about the cheater and the cheated individually, than it does the couple. And generally, if a third party can get between two people, it’s because there’s room for them to do so. Now, I’d argue that the third party here isn’t actually Jon—” Daenerys opened her mouth to protest—“please, we all know he’s the one and when I say “all” I mean, me, Talisa, Robb, Daario, even Grey does and he’s only known him for like three days.”

She wasn’t fazed by her friends’ words. She wasn’t also learning anything she hadn’t already known. She’d loved Jon for so long, her feelings had become a part of her. But, as she grew up, she had to lock them away in a small room of her heart. She’d never forgotten about them, about him, but she had distanced herself from them.

Now, the door to that small room was opened and her emotions were allowed to run free. And everyone around her knew of them.

That was fazing. That was overwhelming.

She felt exposed, vulnerable.

But she also felt good. It was good to be allowed to _feel_. To be true to herself.

“Children are extremely spontaneous in their communications and they’re also able to form extremely strong bonds that can last a lifetime. I think you and Jon formed one of those bonds when you were young, but time and distance created some room for other people to get involved in your lives. The moment you were reunited, though, everything snapped back into place.”

Daenerys looked down at her hands folded in her lap. She thought back to the old summers, to the playground and its red monkey bars, to that day that changed her life forever.

But the sun turned dark in her mind and rain cried over her childhood as reality caught up with her.

“What am I going to do? I’m getting married in a week. I don’t want to get married in a week,” panic seized her heart, her breathing accelerated. “But I can’t… I can’t cancel. What will my parents say? My mother? My _father_?”

_You couldn’t have chosen a better partner to share your life. I’m proud of you._

Her father’s voice echoed in her head. She groaned, her head falling into her hands again. She pulled at her hair, wishing there was a quiet easy way out of this for her. A way that did not involve hurting people or turning her back on her family.

Talisa tightened her grip on her knee. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” she assured her.

“I wish it were that easy…”

Talisa looked down. They both knew there was a world between Daenerys saying she didn’t want this life and her actually getting out of it.

“I should have listened to you,” she said after a moment of silence. “Back in Winterfell. I should have listened to you when you told me to do what makes me happy.”

“You still can,” Missandei told her. “Marriage is a product of society. More often than not, you don’t get married because you actually want to, but because society has conditioned you to want to since you were a little child. On the island of Naath, where I was born, marriage doesn’t exist and people are doing just fine.”

“That sounds… liberating,” Talisa observed.

“Paradoxically enough, your wedding isn’t about you at all,” Missandei went on as if there had been no interruption. “Think of all the people who get involved: families, friends, business partners, service providers… you just become a cog in the wheel, the most important one, yes, but a cog still. And that is why you refused to see the truth for so long. Because you felt like this wasn’t about you anymore and for the sake of social conventions, you kept quiet. Look at your reaction just now, you’re worried about your _parents_.”

“Of course I’m worried about my parents! Just thinking of all the money they invested makes me sick…”

“Who cares? They have plenty of money. Besides, they invested that money without asking you what _you_ wanted. They made it all about _them_ and you need to make it about you again, Daenerys. Love yourself, do what makes _you_ happy. Break the wheel.”

“Now, that sounds liberating,” Daenerys replied, a small smile stretching her lips.

Talisa nodded, a smile of her own stretching her lips.

“Was that the therapist talking, or my friend?” Daenerys asked.

Her heart was kicking in her chest, both in fear and excitement.

“Both. They both want you to put yourself first. But as your friend, you know I have your back, no matter what you decide.”

Daenerys’ throat narrowed. “Thank you.”

She opened her arms and pulled Missandei and Talisa into her arms. She could have stayed like that forever, safe in the arms of her friends, but sadly, the world still existed outside of their cocoon.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“We’re coming,” Missandei said. “You ready?” She asked Daenerys.

She nodded, swiping under her eyes once more with her tissue.

“We’ll talk more later,” she promised. “In the meantime, promise me you won’t think about it anymore. You’re with us now and we all love you very much, okay?”

Daenerys nodded. “I know. I’ll be fine, don’t worry!”

xxx

But she wasn’t fine. She spent the entirety of the evening away. She was present, physically, but her mind was far away.

Her ears started buzzing the moment she walked out of the bathroom, the pain quickly extending to her whole head. Soon, it felt like a blacksmith had taken up residence inside her skull.

She barely ate, barely talked.

The pounding in her head only worsened.

It was like all the tensions she’d accumulated inside her body suddenly decided to make themselves feel.

And it hurt like hell.

Right before desert, or maybe after, Daenerys couldn’t be sure, Talisa decided she’d paled too much for her liking. She forced her to lie down on the couch, with a wet towel on her forehead.

“I’ll ask Missy if she has painkillers,” she said.

“I’m fine,” Daenerys argued.

“You don’t look fine, Tiny Dany. Do I need to break someone’s face?”

She laughed. The pain in her head exploded, but it was worth it.

“Only mine,” she shot back.

At least, it would give her head a reason to ache this terribly.

“I do not recommend fighting fire with fire,” Talisa said. She’d come back with a huge glass of water and some pills.

“Take these.” She did as ordered. “It’s just shock, you’ve been through a lot,” Talisa told her once she was lying down again. “You need to sleep. You’re staying here tonight.”

“I can’t—” Daenerys protested. “Where’s my phone?” She asked.

When she last checked, she had four missed calls from Daario. He’d worry if she didn’t come home, might even drive down to Missy’s.

She didn’t want to cause a scene. She’d already ruined Jon’s last evening with her drama and then absence.

“I dealt with it,” Missandei told her. “It’s like Talisa said. You’re staying here tonight.”

Daenerys tried to sit down. Her panic had only worsened her headache, meaning she felt dizzy the moment she straightened up. Talisa noticed immediately.

“What is it? Do you feel sick?”

She nodded. “I think I’ll lie back down,” she said, her tone clipped.

The couch dipped next to her.

“Come on,” Jon said.

It was the first words he was directly speaking to her that night. He’d watched her all night, but hadn’t said a single thing to her.

He guided her down until her head rested in his lap. He immediately started massaging her scalp, his fingers soft and deft in her hair.

“You can go, guys, I’ve got her,” he said.

Daenerys heard some talking and shuffling. Then, there was nothing but darkness and the sound of Jon’s regular breathing.

“You can’t stay like that all night,” she pointed out.

“How’s your head?” He asked, ignoring her question.

“Feels like it’s going to burst. Careful, I might be all over you soon.”

He chuckled in amusement, making her realize what she’d just said.

“You’re already all over me,” he teased.

She grunted, both in pain and in embarrassment. The movements of his fingers faltered in a silent question.

“Keep doing that. It helps.” She exhaled slowly. “You’re always helping me. Remember when you saved me from the monkey bars?”

“Like it was an hour ago.”

“A whole hour?” She meant to shake her head, but the pain held her back. “I remember it like it was a minute ago.”

Jon sighed, but even in the darkness and with her eyes closed, she could see a small slightly annoyed smile on his face. “You need to rest, Dany, not talk to me.”

“But I want to talk to you. I always do.”

Especially after that night. She had a lot she wanted to tell him.

“I’ll be here in the morning,” he told her. “Or whenever you wake up in the middle of the night.”

“But what about when you leave tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here still.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

xxx

That night, Daenerys dreamt of her old house, of its solid walls made of gray stones, of its strong wooden door.

She saw her tree again, the old swing, her old treehouse, with its opening roof and square windows.

She saw the garden was blooming with life. A sea of roses bluer than the summer sky had blossomed. The leaves of the trees were a beautiful green color that looked almost golden in the sunlight.

She heard the echo of a child’s giggle in the wind, the bark of a dog, the faraway song of a stream running.

The dream was peaceful.

The dream was beautiful.

Her dream of spring.

xxx

Daenerys woke up to the caress of the sun on her cheek. She meant to move, but found that she couldn’t.

Her body was completely intertwined with Jon’s, so much that she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began. It was the only way two could fit on the couch, by becoming one.

Her upper body was on his chest, which was surprisingly comfortable. Her legs were intertwined with his and his arms were looped around her waist, to prevent her from falling. The top of her head barely reached his chin, and her ear was close enough to his heart for her to feel its regular and steady rhythm.

He stirred beneath her, as if he’d sensed her waking. And perhaps he had. He tried to move, but she held him in place, wrapping her arms around his neck, her hands getting lost in his hair.

“Don’t move,” she whispered.

“Okay,” he said, his voice laden with sleep.

Daenerys let out a small sigh of relief and closed her eyes again.

But, Jon it seemed, was unable to lie still, or go back to sleep. His hands started moving on her back, tracing random patterns as they went. Goose bumps spread on her skin whenever he brushed the top of her back, which was left bare by the dress she wore.

She didn’t know how much time passed, how long they stayed like that, in a lovers’ embrace.

It should have bothered her. It didn’t.

She should have moved away. She didn’t.

All Daenerys knew was that the longer they stayed tangled together, the better she felt. She couldn’t explain it, but with every breath he took, with every beat of his heart, she was getting back something she hadn’t realized she’d been missing.

She’d felt odd since they parted ways at the airport all those months ago, and now she felt as light as she had with him in Winterfell.

Perhaps it was what love was.

 _Love_.

_Love yourself._

She felt like she’d been doused with cold water.

She disentangled herself from him. He followed her lead, and they moved together, in perfect synch. They both sat up on the couch. Their eyes met and the tender look in his gray eyes made her heart clench in her chest.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I have to go,” she told him.

Confusion took over his face. She cupped his cheek, her thumb stroking his skin softly.

“I thought you wanted to talk,” he pointed out.

“I have somewhere I need to be first. Something I need to do first.”

“Are you alright?”

She smiled, ignored his question.

“Promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t get on that plane without me.”

“Without you?” His confusion was replaced with concern. “What’s going on, Dany?”

“Promise me,” she insisted.

“My plane leaves in—” he checked his watch—“three hours. I’m not going to make you a promise I can’t keep.”

“Jon, please.”

She held his gaze until he nodded. Then, she leaned forward and dropped a kiss on his cheek, at the corner of his mouth.

“Tell the girls I’m going to break the wheel.”

And with that said, she got up and left.

xxx

Darkness and emptiness welcomed her when she opened the door to the apartment she shared with Daario.

He wasn’t there and from the look of it, he hadn’t spent the night home.

She wasn’t surprised. First thing she’d done after leaving Missandei’s apartment was checking her phone. She’d more missed calls from Daario and some from her parents as well.

He’d probably gone to them after their argument.

It hurt, but it was nothing she wasn’t already used to.

Daenerys sat on their couch and looked around their apartment. It was her parents’ realtor who’d find them this place. Daario had loved it immediately. Daenerys had liked its potential, but she’d always seen this place as a transition. She and Daario would live in it until it was time to move into a bigger house to raise their family.

That future was no more.

She didn’t know what awaited her, but she knew what didn’t.

This place.

She sighed, got on her feet, and set to work.

She packed the things she couldn’t live without. A music box offered by Missandei when she was sixteen, old family albums, Jon’s rose. She ended up packing more memories than clothes. Clothes she could replace, not memories.

When she closed the door behind her, it was final. She wouldn’t be back, no matter what.

xxx

She pulled up inside her parents’ driveway. She turned the ignition off, but didn’t get out of her car. Instead, she stared at the house she’d finished growing up in. She had many memories in that house, mostly happy ones. Now, it was time to make some last memories.

“Time to be brave,” she said out loud.

She took a deep breath, braced herself for what was to come, and opened her door.

xxx

They were all having breakfast in the living-room. Her parents, Daario.

“Good morning, daughter,” her father greeted her, when he noticed her presence.

“Father, mother, Daario,” she said.

“Come have breakfast with us, darling!” Her mother prompted, pointing at the empty seat next to her.

“I’m not here to have breakfast, mother.”

“Listen to your mother.”

Her father’s voice was low, almost threatening. Once upon a time, Daenerys would have complied just so that she wouldn’t have to hear it again.

No more.

Daario seemed to realize that. He got up from his seat. Daenerys turned around, not checking if he was following her. She knew he was.

She went inside the gardens, stopped by the pool. It was as good place as any to talk.

She’d left Missandei’s apartment at dawn, but the sun was up now, and the air warm. A cool wind caressed her cheek. Birds were chirping happily in the trees. Their song helped soothing her frayed nerves.

They stood under the palm trees in silence for a few seconds.

“You’ve come to break up with me, haven’t you?”

Daenerys nodded. There was no point beating about the bush.

Daario made a face, pain and anger mixing in his dark eyes. “I knew it was coming. From the moment you came back from your little Northern trip, I knew.” He shook his head, looked up to the sky. “What does he have that I don’t?”

He was usually so confident, so cocky, it pained Daenerys to see him so defeated. She wanted to tell him he and Jon couldn’t be more different. She wanted to tell him it wasn’t about who was better than the other, because neither were. They were both great men, but only one was actually right for her.

But, she didn’t say any of these things.

“It’s not about him,” Daenerys said. “He doesn’t even know I’m doing this.”

“Oh really? So, you didn’t stay at your friend’s yesterday for a night of fun?”

Daenerys felt like she’d been slapped. She clenched her fists in anger, but when she spoke, her voice was even.

“I haven’t completely been honest about my feelings, I admit it, but nothing happened between me and Jon.”

“And I’m supposed to just believe you?”

“I don’t care whether you believe me or not. I just want you to know this isn’t about Jon, this is about me. About what I want and don’t want.”

“And what? All of a sudden, you don’t want this? Me? Us?”

“This isn’t sudden, Daario,” she cut him off. “I warned you, I told you I didn’t want to marry my father, I didn’t want to be my mother. You say I’ve changed, well you’re right, I have changed! I’ve turned my back on who I was and what I wanted, first for my family, then for you. I settled for the happiness within reach and it was a mistake. Because this happiness? It’s not real.”

“It is for me!” He exploded, the desperation in his voice impossible to miss. “I love you!”

“You love the idea of me, not the real me.” He turned around, pulled at his hair. She continued anyway. “You don’t know her and you don’t care to know her. You just want your right partner, with the right name and the right family.”

“Daenerys…”

“You were wrong when you said I was different, Daario. I just went back to the real me and today, I’m doing what’s best for me. This,” she took off her engagement ring, “is me loving myself enough to put myself first. You should do the same,” she dropped her ring in his palm.

The moment she was free of it, the figurative weight she’d been carrying on her shoulders was lifted. She took a deep breath, the first time in months.

The nightmare that had become her life was finally over. She was awake and free.

Daario stared at the ring in shock. A tear rolled down his cheek. “There is no other like you.”

“Good. You don’t need another me. You need someone that’s actually right for you.” She closed his fingers around the ring. “Be the best version of yourself, Daario, but most of all be happy. You deserve it.”

She leaned on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He closed his eyes at the contact, the rest of his features giving nothing about his feelings.

“I’m sorry it has come to this,” he finally said, opening his eyes again.

Daenerys nodded, appreciating the sentiment behind his words. She knew he’d cared for her as best as he could.

“Goodbye, Daario.”

“Goodbye, Daenerys.”

xxx

Her parents were waiting for her in the veranda that led to the gardens. Daenerys saw them as she was walking back to the house. She braced herself for a conversation far more unpleasant than the one she’d just had.

“Father, mother,” she said once she was in the veranda. “I just broke up with Daario.”

A shadow crossed her father’s eyes. Her mother just closed her eyes in resignation, like she already knew this was how things were going to end. And perhaps she did.

“You can’t do this,” her father told her. He was using _the_ tone, the one he reserved for his employees, the one that made him such a fearsome businessman.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I can. I just did.”

Daenerys was putting up a brave front, but she was trembling inside. Her father was an intimidating man.

“You will go back and tell Daario you’re sorry. You will tell him it’s just the stress of the wedding talking and you didn’t mean whatever it was that you told him. You will—”

“No, I won’t,” she cut him off.

“I won’t let you do this, I won’t let you humiliate us like this!” He exploded. Daenerys flinched against her will. “After everything we’ve done for you…”

“Aerys, please calm down,” Rhaella pleaded with him, placing a hand on his arm.

“Calm down!? Did you hear what our daughter said? What she did? She means to break off her engagement, she means to let us down, to turn her back on this family!”

“I’m not turning my back on this family,” Daenerys protested, though his words cut her deep. She’d expected such a reaction, but expecting and actually experiencing it were two very different things.

“She’ll make us all look like fools! She’ll ruin our reputation!”

“It wouldn’t have gotten to this point, had you listened to me!”

It was the first time she was raising her voice at her father. He was too surprised by her outburst to say anything.

“I never wanted such a big wedding. I never wanted any of this… you made it all about you, about your business. If you cared so much for your reputation, you shouldn’t have mixed professional and personal!”

Her father took a step in her direction. He was seething. “You were to marry my business partner! It was impossible to dissociate the two!”

“You didn’t have to make such a big deal out of it. You didn’t have to invite all your business partners. You didn’t have to expose so much of my private life.”

“You ungrateful little brat! You’re no daughter of mine,” he spat.

Daenerys felt like she’d been slapped. Her father had never needed to use his hands to hurt.

“Don’t say things you can’t take back, father!”

“I have no wish to take this back. You’re a shame, putting yourself and your selfish desires before the family that raised you and supported you since you were born. You have no loyalty, no sense of gratitude, and now you’re crying, as if we are the ones who’ve wronged you. You’re no Targaryen.”

“Aerys…” Rhaella started, her voice trailing down as more tears flooded Daenerys’ cheeks.

“Seventeen years ago, you had this very conversation with your son. If both Rhaegar and I told you we wanted out of this life, then perhaps we _are_ the ones who have been wronged, the ones who have been forced into lives we didn’t want.”

Her father said nothing. He just stared at her hard, cold fury animating his gaze.

“Think before I leave, father. Remember what happened to Rhaegar. Do you really want us to part this way? I will not come back if these are your last words for me.”

“I have nothing left to say to you.”

Daenerys shut her eyes. She was hurt, but she wasn’t surprised. She knew her father, knew there was no talking to him. But she had hopes for her mother still. She glanced at her, wishing for her to say something, to take a stand for once in her life.

She waited. One foolish heartbeat, two foolish heartbeats, three…

Nothing came.

“I guess this is goodbye then.”

She moved past them and walked out of their house, walked out their lives. It wasn’t until the front door shut behind her that she let out the sobs she’d been holding back.

xxx

She was almost to her car when she heard it.

Her name.

“Daenerys!”

She turned around. Her mother was running toward her, carrying a protective cover for clothing.

“Daenerys, wait!”

She stopped walking and waited until her mother had joined her. She tried to rein in her happiness.

Her mother had come for her.

Her mother hadn’t cast her out, not yet.

There was only a few feet separating them. Daenerys frowned when she recognized the label on the protective cover. It was where she’d bought her wedding dress. Had her mother brought her wedding dress?

“I’m sorry it has come to this, darling. Your father, he’s…”

“You don’t have to say anything, mother. I know who he is.”

Rhaella smiled, but it was sad and lonely. “I love you, Daenerys. I hope you won’t regret your decision. I hope this bigger happiness you’re chasing will be worth everything you’re sacrificing for it.”

Daenerys nodded, knowing deep in her heart that it was.

“You fight for it so ardently,” her mother went on, “one can only believe it’s all going to work out. But even if it doesn’t, I want you to know you’ll always be my beautiful little girl. I’m proud of you no matter what.”

Her throat narrowed. Tears of happiness mixed with her sad tears.

“Thank you, mother.”

“You were right. When you brought up, Rhaegar, you were right. We’ve made mistakes with you both and I’m sorry for that. But I hope that, with time, you’ll recognize we’ve also done right by you.”

She handed her the protective cover. Her hands were shaking.

“Mother, what’s…”

“Something I think you’ll have need for in the near future. This is also me doing right by you.”

Daenerys took it. Her hands were shaking at least as much as her mother’s. She opened the protective cover…

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest when she saw it.

“Mother!” She gasped.

It was her dress. The ballerina dress she’d fallen in love with. The only dress she’d envisioned herself getting married in.

“I went to buy it after our conversation the other day. I always knew this would end like this.”

Of course she had. Mothers knew best. Daenerys was overwhelmed by a wave of emotions. She looked from the dress to her mother. She realized she didn’t know when they would see each other again, so she pulled her into fierce embrace.

“Thank you, thank you so much!”

“I love you, darling,” her mother whispered in her ear.

“I love you too,” she replied, closing her eyes to savor her warmth and the smell of her as best as she could, to better commit the moment to memory.

“Go now, my darling,” her mother told her, pulling away. “And remember, you are the bravest of us all.”

These words moved Daenerys more than anything else she’d said to her.

“You can be brave too, mother. There’s still time to be happier.”

She shook her head. “Be happier for us both. I’m fine where I am.”

She nodded, squeezed her mother’s hand one last time. Then, she got into her car and drove away.

She watched the silhouette of her mother grow smaller in the mirror until she couldn’t see her anymore.

Her heart broke in her chest once she was out of sight.

xxx

Jon kept his promise.

She found him at the airport, in front of the gate that would take him to his plane. Missandei, Talisa and Robb were with him, anxiously looking around. Missy had her phone to her ear. Daenerys felt hers vibrate in her pocket.

She ran in their direction.

“I’m here, I’m here!” She said, out of breath.

“Where have you been?” Robb asked her.

“And what’s this?” Jon pointed at the protective cover in her hand. She’d already dropped her suitcase off.

She smiled, replaced a strand of her silver blond hair. “Old Ben told you to bring me back in your luggage. Now, I’m pretty sure I won’t fit in your bag, but it doesn’t mean I can’t come home with you anyway.”

Jon frowned in confusion and she immediately reached up to smooth his brows. He looked so beautiful, even in the harsh lights of the airport, it was almost painful to look at him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” He eventually asked, his voice rougher than usual.

From the corner of her eyes, Daenerys saw their friends stepping away to give them some sort of privacy. She hesitated, weighing her next words carefully. “I feel like I just woke up from a long dream. Or maybe I’ve been awake for a while now, and I just didn’t want to admit it.”

Jon cleared his throat. “Just so we’re clear, what does the dream metaphor stand for?”

Her heart in her throat, Daenerys looked down at the guitar around her neck. “My life.” She looked up again. “Maybe it isn’t the right one after all.”

He nodded silently.

“You’ve known for a while,” she told him. Her tone wasn’t accusatory, she was merely stating a fact. “Maybe you’ve always known.”

“Aye, I have,” he took her hand, but unlike the previous times he’d held it, he actually laced his fingers with hers.

“No ring?” He asked her. He sounded genuinely surprised, but there was more to this tone, something… hopeful?

“No ring,” she confirmed, a small smile stretching her lips.

He took a step closer. She had to crane her neck to look him in the eyes.

“I know _you_ , Dany. Inside and out, seventeen years of separation be damned. I remember when we were children… every summer you came, every summer you went and the look in your eyes when it was time to leave was always the same.”

“I never wanted to leave.”

“No, you didn’t. You said you were different when you were in Winterfell, you said it felt like another life. I’ll argue it was the only time you felt like yourself, and more importantly, I’ll argue it was the life you wanted. The life you still want today.”

She smiled, her eyes brimming with tears. How could they know each other so well, yet be so lost when it came to themselves?

“It’s not Winterfell, Jon. For years, I’d see the monkey bars, the playground, and fields of roses in my dreams, but it wasn’t a place I was missing, it was the people that lived there. It’s not Winterfell, because it’s you, Jon. It’s always been you.”

His eyes widened. “Dany, I—”

She placed a finger over his lips. “You really hurt me,” she said, “when you told me what you felt, and to an extent what I felt, wasn’t real. This,” she brought their joined hands to her chest, where her heart was beating hard enough to dig its way out of its prison, “is real, Jon.”

He closed his eyes. “It hurt when you said you’d find happiness somewhere else.” He paused and when he opened his eyes again, she was surprised by the intensity of his gaze. Her skin prickled under his serious scrutiny.

“I want to be the one to make you happy, Dany.”

The tears came then, unbidden. “You do,” she assured him.

He gave her the brightest purest smile she’d ever seen on him. It was hesitant at first, as if he couldn’t believe what she’d just said, until it grew and lighted his entire face.

Daenerys’ lower lip shook as she allowed herself to feel all the things she’d repressed for so long. The pain. The longing. The joy. The love.

It was overwhelming.

Their foreheads touched, their breaths mingled.

Daenerys exhaled heavily and a shiver wrecked her body.

Jon tightened his grip on her hand.

Their lips brushed in almost kiss…

“Sorry to interrupt guys,” Talisa said, “but Jon’s plane is about to leave.”

“No!” Robb lamented. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” He pointed at Jon and Daenerys’ joined hands.

“I’m sure you can wait a little while longer,” his girlfriend replied, kissing his cheek.

“Are you really coming?” Jon asked her.

He was in disbelief and Daenerys couldn’t blame him for that. She was a little in disbelief herself.

“Yeah, I bought my ticket at the last minute earlier this morning. Cost me an arm, but it was worth every penny.”

“Wait, wait,” Robb interrupted them. “You’re leaving?”

She nodded.

“You’re not getting married?”

Again, she nodded.

“Oh thank the Gods!” He let out a small relieved breath. “I was afraid I’d have to dramatically get up in the middle of the ceremony and proclaim Jon’s love for him, therefore preventing you from making a terrible mistake…”

“Just shut up,” Jon said, pulling him in for a hug.

Daenerys turned to Missandei and Talisa. “Thank you, guys, for everything!” She told them, emotion seizing her heart again and narrowing her throat.

Missandei made a “don’t mention it” gesture with her hand. “Just call us when you land and tell us everything.”

“Are you and Robb going to stay here even if there’s no wedding?”

Talisa nodded. “Yeah, we’ll enjoy the rest of our vacation with Missy and Grey. We’ll be home soon.”

“I can’t wait,” Daenerys replied excitedly.

“And I’ll be left alone here…” Missandei let out an exaggerated sigh.

“You could move to Winterfell too,” Talisa suggested.

She shook her head. “Too cold.”

Daenerys opened her mouth to tell her the summers were actually quite beautiful but was interrupted when someone lifted her up from behind.

“See you soon, Tiny Dany! I’m glad you came to your senses, Jon sulks less when you’re around.”

“You’re going to tease him endlessly, aren’t you?”

“Him, you…” his voice trailed down and he winked at her.

Daenerys and Jon exchanged a look. They were in for a ride, but neither of them would have it any other way.

“Come on,” Jon said, extending his hand to her. “Time to go.”

She took it and they started walking.

“What’s in that?” He pointed at the protective cover.

She smiled mysteriously. “Something for the future.”

They turned around at the same time, to wave at their friends.

It was the last time they looked back.

xxx

Daenerys traded her place in first class – it was the only seat available – with Jon’s neighbor so that she could sit next to him. She spent the entire flight to Winterfell curled up in her seat, her arms wrapped around Jon’s and her head on his shoulder.

They spent the majority of their flight in silence, reveling in the feeling of each other instead.

Until Jon whispered against her hair.

“Robb’s right you know. I do love you.”

Butterflies exploded in her stomach.

“The real kind of love this time?”

He smiled. “You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

She shook her head. He dropped a kiss on top of her head.

“It was always the real kind of love.”

She lifted her head to meet his eyes. The look in his gray eyes made the butterflies fly down to her toes and up to her hair.

“I know.”

He leaned down for a kiss. Her heart was in her throat, her palms sweaty. His lips brushed hers. They pulled apart when a baby crying startled them. Jon groaned, his head falling on her chest. Daenerys chuckled, her hand coming up to his hair.

xxx

Jon had left his car at the airport, meaning no one was picking them up. He was going to drive them back.

The North was exactly as it used to be in her childhood. Green, blue, wild and free.

“I hope these are happy tears,” Jon said, his eyes on the road.

She nodded, quickly wiping them away. “God, I’ve never cried as much as I have these past few days.”

“You were never much of a crier,” Jon agreed. “Remember when you fell off your bike and tore your knee open? You never shed a tear.”

“No need, when you were there to cry for me,” she teased him.

“It looked really painful.”

She nodded, caressing her knee absent-mindedly. “They had to stitch it back.”

“Yeah, it left a scar.”

She shot him a curious look.

“You wore dresses a lot in Meeren,” he reminded her.

They were silent a moment.

“Crying is good,” he told after a while.

“I know.” She covered his hand on the driving stick with hers. “I’m happy to be home.”

xxx

They pulled up in front of the Starks house. Jon opened the door with his key, ushered Daenerys inside. Ned Stark was the first to greet them, followed quickly by Ghost, who barked happily and licked both their faces with much gusto.

He didn’t look surprised when he saw them together. He just smiled at them, the same way he’d always smiled at them when they were children.

Then, he spoke.

“Add a place setting, Cat. Jon brought Dany home.”

xxx

After dinner, Dany and Jon locked themselves in his room. They built another pillow fort, hid inside it and talked. Just _talked_.

They didn’t talk about the future, didn’t make any plans. They had time for that later, they had their whole lives ahead of them.

The thought made Dany giddy.

They talked about the past instead, and their shared memories. They went over everything they’d lived together. They talked about that cabin they built in the woods near the Starks’ house, about the day they lost little Arya only to find her in a basket of fruits, in the pantry, three peaches’ pits at her feet.

They reminisced a lot, seeing everything in a very different light now that the truth about their feelings was out in the open.

They remembered all the times they’d loved each other without actually saying it, like that one time when Dany read Jon stories when he was sick and bored, or how Jon would always give her flowers, whenever she felt sad about something.

They talked deep into the night until they had nothing left to say. They replaced words with kisses then, and touches, loving each other in an entirely different way.

If there was one lesson they could draw from their story so far, it was that their love was sacred. And so they treated their bodies like altar. They worshipped them with the devotion of saints and the passion of pagans until dawn.

Then, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, having concluded the first part of their story in the best way possible.

xxx

Dany and Jon decided to buy her old house back from Ned’s company the following day.

“All the changes are mine,” Sansa told her excitedly when they went to visit the house. “Let me know if there’s anything you don’t like…”

“It’s perfect,” Dany assured her, glancing at Jon next to her. Sansa might have been the architect, but she knew where her ideas had come from.

They moved in two weeks later.

xxx

Dany had no problem finding a teaching position in Winterfell. It was located in the city, near the playground where her life had changed forever when she was six.

Jon kept working for his uncle and every night, they came home to each other.

Slowly, they built a life together in the North.

xxx

A month after they moved in, right before the schoolyear started, a truck came in. It was all the things Dany had left behind in Essos, sent by her mother.

She spent the entire afternoon going through the boxes. Most of her clothes weren’t fit for the northern climate of Winterfell so she’d have to get rid of them. She’d probably give them away to charity.

She wasn’t sad as she rummaged through them, nor did she feel an ounce of regret. She was in the right life for her, in her home with Jon.

The last box had a note on top of it.

“ _I saved these for you, but there was never right time to give them to you._ ”

Intrigued, Dany opened the box.

She was grateful she was already sitting when she saw it contained stuff that had once belonged to her brother.

His old headphones he’d put on her head when she was young, his notebooks which he’d filled with song lyrics in his messy handwriting, and old records of him.

When Jon came home that night, he found her curled up on their couch, her brother’s songs filling their house. He sat down next to her, questions in his eyes.

“You were right,” she told him. “Those we loved and lost always find a way to come back to us.”

xxx

Things weren’t always perfect, because for all that Jon and Dany loved each other, they were also extremely different.

Jon was much quieter and calmer than her, even though he did have a temper. Dany had caught several glimpses of it during their childhood, especially when Robb pushed him too far.

Dany took things to heart and felt deeply about everything.

So, of course they clashed.

But their arguments were as brief as they were intense, for they couldn’t stay mad at each other too long.

xxx

A few months after Dany came home with Jon, he asked her to marry him.

It wasn’t a grand proposal, with violins, champagne and flowers. Jon didn’t get down one knee. He didn’t even ask her. He just handed her a note he was carrying in his wallet.

_“Dany, will you be my ~~girlfriend~~ wife? Yes or no.”_

There was no question, no hesitation on Dany’s part. She didn’t think it was too soon, she didn’t worry whether or not it was the right thing to do. She already knew in her heart it was.

“Do you have a pen?” She asked.

He handed her one.

She circled her answer.

 _Yes_.

xxx

Dany fell in love with Jon when she was six and she never really fell out of love with him.

She was separated from him when she was ten years old and she thought she’d never see him again.

But she did.

And she married him when she was twenty-seven, almost a year after they were reunited.

They had the winter wedding she’d envisioned. The ceremony took place in their house’s garden, under the tree that not only bore her name, but his as well. Everything was covered with snow. It was beautiful.

Dany wore the ballerina dress she’d fallen in love with months ago and a crown of blue roses in her hair. Her mother arrived just in time to give her away.

They said their vows under the stars.

“I am hers and she is mine.”

“I am his and he is mine.”

They had dinner inside their house afterwards, surrounded by their families and closest friends. Old Ben made them the most beautiful, most delicious wedding cake ever.

Robb made a toast.

“I feared this day would never come,” he said.

Dany did too.

It was a beautiful night, a beautiful wedding. And later, as Dany laid in the arms of Jon, her friend, her love, her husband, he whispered in the shell of her ear.

“This is what I wished for.”

 

THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you loved the story!
> 
> I have a tumblr, so if you want to come and chat about Jonerys, I'm here!  
> https://charlie-leau.tumblr.com/


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